Thursday, September 29, 2011

Potty Training Goddess

Drew has officially potty-trained.  That's right, people, we are flying high on Lightning McQueen underoos and a prayer.

I don't know if it's their gender difference or individual personalities, BUTT potty training each of my children was a unique experience.  

With Bailey, I circled a date on the calendar and wrote "Big Girl" with a red sharpie.  Yes, a paper calendar with pictures of puppies. I'm so old school that I still think Pluto is a planet.

For the two weeks leading up to Big Girl Day, I would say, "Oh, I can't wait until Big Girl Day when you use the potty!  No more diapers.  It's so exciting!"

I made going to the potty sound cooler than going to Disney Land.

On Big Girl Day, she did, indeed, use the potty.  And from that moment on, she had exactly zero accidents.

I am a potty training goddess! Parents who complain about potty training are just not as smart as I am.  I can solve all the world's problems one poopless pair of Dora panties at a time.

So when Drew was of potty training age, I was not concerned.  Why?  Because I'm a parenting genius, that's why.

But Drew didn't give a rip about Big Boy Day.  So I tried to buy his poop, but apparently a two-and-a-half year old does not value money, either.  To him, it's just paper that somebody else has already colored on.

I begged, pleaded, bribed, bartered, and even threatened (when nobody was looking, of course) to no avail.

I've heard that boys like to make a game out of peeing on Cheerios.  But not my son.  Or that boys think it's fun to tinkle in the yard.  But Drew said, "I don't want to tee-tee on your flowers, Mama.  They're beautiful."  Now would you mind if that sweet boy was still wearing diapers?

If it was up to me, Drew could go off to college still pooping his pants, but preschool frowned upon this idea.

They were nice enough to let Drew join the Early Preschool room based on a potty training promise.  By me.  The parenting genius.  And when I couldn't deliver the goods, they wanted to demote him to the thumb-sucking baby room.

So even though my self-proclaimed brilliance was on the line, eventually, I just gave up... and then he used the potty!

This is clearly because I knew exactly when to stop pushing him.  Yessss! I am still a potty training goddess!

Drew, enjoy the Early Preschool room.  Pull up a nap mat and stay a while.