Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Napoleon Complex Diagnosis Confirmed

I took a little trip last night.  TO HELL.  And I didn't even have to live a life full of unrepentant sin first.

WHY DOES DREW KEEP COUGHING?  All caps text indicates my frustration.  CAN YOU TELL THAT I'M FRUSTRATED?  See how handy that little caps lock button is?

Is it severe allergies?  Asthma?  Chronic croup?  Immunity deficiency?  Some other illness that I will not put down in writing because that might make it so?

Drew's cough was relentless.  I walked into his room every few minutes to check on him all night long.  I logged in more miles than you will at Disney World next summer.  Pfft. And you guys are still going to the gym?  You should just borrow a sick child instead.  Drew is totally available, by the way.  You know, just to help you reach your fitness goals.

About 5 am, I was at a breaking point.  I was worried about Drew.  I hadn't slept in days.  Work was piling up.  Laundry was piling up.  And there's only so much comfort food that one woman can eat.

Wait.  Do you hear that?  Yeah.  Me, neither.  It's quiet.  Drew isn't coughing!
And that's when Brian started snoring.
UGH....  Oh, good.  He stopped.  Yes!  Now I can finally sleep.  
Then Drew started coughing again.

They went back and forth like that for a half-hour.  It was a relay race where each one of them took a lap KEEPING ME AWAKE.

I was desperate for that one-hour nap that gives me enough energy to drink the 10 cups of coffee that I need to survive these days.  So I went to Bailey's room to sleep in the extra bed for when a friend stays over.  

Note to self: Don't cheap out on the friend mattress.  You never know when you'll need it for a relay race.  

I stacked every blanket that I could find on top of that mattress.  Pretty soon it looked like it belonged to the Princess and the Pea.  You know, if the princess was a really grumpy 36-year-old WHO JUST NEEDED SOME SLEEP.  I almost had to use a step-ladder to lay down on the thing.

And guess what?  Bailey didn't make a peep.  I'm not even sure that she rolled over.  I think she has found herself a new roommate!  

The next day, I took Drew to a family practice physician who I loved!  He is the first doctor who has listened to me and educated me on possible causes as well as testing and treatment options.  He should give seminars to doctors about how to be doctors.

Through a series of small world connections, we know each other.  He caught me off guard when he said, "I've read your blog.  It's funny."  Sometimes I forget that anybody can access my blog like my son's doctor, my OB-GYN and my pastor.

But if he reads my blog, then he must be awesome!  You should know.  You're reading it, too.

He mentioned that Drew was tall and I said, "I always worry about him being small like me.  When your Mom is 5'1" and your Dad is 6'1", if you turn out  to be 5'1", then you know who to blame."  He said, "Well, your personality makes you at least 5'7", so I think you're fine."

And I figure any doctor who can diagnose a Napoleon Complex that fast can surely figure out WHY DREW WON'T STOP COUGHING.  Yep, and there's the frustration again.


  1. Ahhh I must have it too. Someone asked me once how tall I was and when I said "5'3" they said, "Really? You act taller." Um . . . thanks?

  2. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    1. ha! Yes, one could definitely take that as a complisult. Like, "I like your new haircut. It doesn't make your face look as fat." 've gotten that one, too. People love to cut me down while building me up.

      P.S. The reason that my previous comment was "removed by a blog administrator" was because I had a typo and my comment posting OCD just won't allow it. But doesn't it sound cool that my comment was removed by a blog administrator? I wonder what I said... something taboo, probably... or maybe I just typed "at" instead of "as". Nah. It had to be more interesting than that.

  3. DANG. There was a typo in that one, too! That's what I get for posting comments so early in the morning. Coffee, please!

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