Wednesday, September 7, 2011


My daughter told me that she wants to invent an app called the Peeminder that will send you a reminder text every time you need to pee.

I laughed thinking, 'Who in the world wants an app to remind them to pee?'  But then again, I didn't foresee a time when an app could balance my checkbook or remove wrinkles from my mobile pics.  In fact, I didn't foresee a time when I'd have an app, period.

I wish nothing more than for Bailey to become a world famous inventor, but I will not be installing the Peeminder app on my phone.  Because I'd be getting more text messages than Lindsay Lohan's personal drug dealer.

Hello.  My name is Amanda and I'm a peeaholic.

Squirrels look at me thankful that they don't have that small a bladder.

Bedtime is when my small bladder and my undiagnosed OCD meet, and that's when the magic happens.  I have to pee not once, not twice, but three times before I can go to sleep.  A preemie hamster consumes more milk from an eyedropper than the amount of urine expelled during Pee #3.  It's a complete waste of time.    

Many nights I lay in bed determined to ignore the triple-pee, but concentrating on not peeing only makes me need to pee more.  I eventually cave, convincing myself that my bladder is going to explode if I don't.  And that's not the way that I want to go.  No pun intended.

Unfortunately, my smallbladderaphobia is not the only weird thing about my bedtime routine.

I sleep with a blanket.  An amazing, slap your Mama good, satin blanket. Its name is Goodfeel.  I named it when I was two years old and it seemed to make sense at the time.  Oh, and by the way, you are not the first person to call me Linus.

I also suck my tongue when I sleep.  Why do you suck your tongue, you ask?  The better question is why don't you because sucking your tongue is pure awesomeness.  It's way better than sucking your thumb because it doesn't jack up your teeth and nobody judges you for sticking your fingers in your mouth.

Here is what I look like sleeping.  Ridiculous, huh?

And don't worry - my daughter didn't inherit a cup of the crazy. I'm not really sure why she wanted to sleep like me on this particular night, but Brian thought it was cute so he snagged this photo opp.

I wish I could say the same thing about Drew, but unfortunately, his cup of crazy runneth over. He named his blanket "Yellow" because it's (wait for it)... yellow.  A much better name than Goodfeel. Each generation is so much smarter than the one before it.

Check out this little pile of Hohenbery cuteness!

I really love that Drew and I share the blanket bond.  And since I could have adopted a child who looks more like me, I'm pretty sure that this is the only thing I gave him.  But hopefully this is where our bedtime commonalities end and he'll be able to tell me how awesome his sister's Peeminder app is one day.

Here's a video of Drew with Yellow when he was just a little guy: