Monday, October 3, 2011

Life Lessons By Taylor Swift

I learned something when I took my daughter to the Taylor Swift concert.  And it wasn't just that Miss Swift will soon be worth more than Apple, although both pills are equally hard to swallow.

I learned that I am uncool.


This hurts almost as much as when I found out that Milli Vanilli couldn't sing.

Taylor Swift is Bailey's favorite singer, so I splurged for good seats.  My baby girl is worth every penny.  All thirty-thousand of them.  I was really looking forward to this mother/daughter time together.  Special moments seem so infrequent these days.

Our T-Swift Vantage Point

I was crazy excited when I gave Bailey those tickets!  The first thing that she said was, "Awesome!  But...uh... is somebody going with me?"

Of course somebody is going with you!  I am.  Duh.

But apparently, what she meant to say was, "Is somebody going with me who is cool?"

Ohhhh.  Well, of course there is!  I am.  Duh.

When Taylor Swift took the stage, I was up on my feet - dancing and singing along word-for-word.  I threw my hands up in the air and waved 'em like I just didn't care.  And when she brought out T.I. as her special, surprise guest?  SHUT UP!  His parole must have hit just in time.  I was having a blast!

I looked over at Bailey.  You know, hoping to do that thing that two girlfriends do when they are at a concert together?  When they grab each other's arms and scream their bloody heads off?

But instead, this is what I saw.

(This is what humiliation looks like) 

Poor Bay.  And who could blame her?

Please allow me to paint you a picture.  This is me dancing at my wedding reception.

Whomp! There it is!
Is that the Roger Rabbit?  Why, yes, it is.  So... you must have gotten married in, say, what...1992?  No, actually it was 2007.

Are you starting to feel Bailey's embarrassment?

Okay, so I'm not accusing anybody of anything, BUT Bailey did have my phone for a while...

That must be a typo.  I accidentally type" ok" when I mean to type "awesome!" all the time.
Don't you?  Please say yes.  

I came to the very sad realization that ten years must mark the first time in a daughter's life when she is aware of her mother's ridiculousness.  I thought I had another two years to go - maybe even three, tops.

Next time Taylor Swift is in Atlanta, I promise to take the same amount cash and spread it across three seats in Section 215.  Bailey can invite a cool friend so they can sing, scream and forget that I'm even there.  Then, I can stand with my arms crossed, looking at them with an annoyed expression that says: "Sheesh.  Kids these days."

 That's what being a real Mom is all about.*