As I was getting ready to leave for the party, my husband said, "Wow. You look hot." So I nonchalantly replied back in my best hot girl voice, "Oh. Thanks." I tried to use the same tone that Marilyn Monore used when she said, "Oh? This old thing?"
And then he asked, "Are you wearing makeup?"
Buzz kill.
It's probably not a good thing that your husband's shock of the day comes from seeing you in makeup. This was even after he read that Forbes ranked Lady Gaga higher than Oprah on their Most Powerful Women List. (Never underestimate the power of wearing raw meat, Oprah.)
Running on Amanda-time, I arrived about fifteen minutes late to McKenzie's house. When I walked in, she said, "Are you wearing makeup?" Then I walked over to Michele who said, "Yeah, I didn't think you wore makeup."
Me wearing makeup is kind of like the First Lady wearing sleeveless dresses. We are both shocking people by doing what normal women do every single day. I call that talent.
And obviously that was the only talent I brought with me to the party, because as turns out, I'm terrible at painting glass. The result? A very shaky, homemade-looking, pathetic piece of art. It's hard being creative and Type A at the same time. I should have practiced painting on glass before I got here! Or at least stolen somebody else's idea off the internet!
But it's cool. I can still totally give these glasses as gifts as long as you drink an entire bottle of wine before looking at them. The more booze you drink, the better artist I become. Two bottles and I'm freakin' Picasso.
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| Don't let this photo fool you. My glasses sucked. |
We painted as we talked about our kids' birthday parties or how we should start Christmas shopping a little earlier this year. And suddenly, I realized DANG! WE'RE OLD! This party is pretty different from the one that girls fifteen years younger than us are having tonight.
Well, one thing was the same. One girl pulled something out of her purse, took a big puff off of it, and then passed it to someone else at the table. Of course, it was an Albuteral inhaler to counteract dog allergies, but still. And then about ten o'clock, we all said how late it was getting and we went home. Awww! We are such good, little, old ladies.
Driving home, I thought about how different my life is now than it was years ago. Back then, I wouldn't have had the self-confidence to leave my house without wearing makeup - let alone become synonymous for the 'just got out of bed' look. Back then, I would have spent so much energy trying to have a good time that I probably would have missed the good time that was sitting right in front of me.
But now, things are different. I'm different. Tomorrow morning, I'll wake up at 7 am to a loving husband and precious babies. I'll cook pancakes and we'll watch cartoons together. And it will be the most fun that you can possibly imagine.
Being a grown-up isn't so bad after all.
