Tuesday, December 13, 2011

McDonald's Made Me Do It

Just over a year ago, my gym closed without notice. Many members were outraged, but not me.  WHAT BETTER REASON TO NOT WORK OUT THAN YOUR GYM CLOSING?  Thanks, guys!    

But since then, I've been sitting around on my butt.  The upside is that my butt is bigger now than it was when I was working out.  The downside is that my butt is bigger now than it was when I was working out.  

Pfft.  I guess I can't keep claiming "walking up the stairs" as "an aerobic workout".  Maybe I should join another gym?

I'm a natural litigator and that really comes in handy when I'm trying to snag a good deal.  Oh, and car salesmen HATE me.  Some Honda salesmen offered to sell me a car at whatever price would get Brian to make me leave.  True story.  

Anyway, so I went to a new gym for membership information. $35 a month?
What if I sign a longer contract?  Still $35.
Pay a year upfront?  Still $35.
Two years?  Still $35.
Give you my first born son?  (Sorry, Drew.)  Still $35. 

So I left without a gym membership.

Over the weekend, I got a postcard in the mail advertising memberships for $12!  Now that's more like it! 

So my sister and I went in today to sign up.  But thanks to Bait and Switch, I learned that you actually pay $12 for the FIRST MONTH ONLY, which starts today and then your next monthly payment of $35 is due on January 1st.

So, basically, I'm signing up for half of December and paying about how of the monthly fee?  I thought it was $12 a month EVERY month.  Your postcard is a bit misleading. 
Yeah, sorry.  A lot of people have misunderstood that.  But do you want to sign up?
Let me think about it and I'll let you know. 

"Let me think about it and I'll let you know" actually means "I know that you can do better than that, so I'll try again next week."

We left a little disappointed that we didn't join the gym.  I was almost even looking forward to breaking a sweat.  But then we saw a McDonald's right across the street.  Yes!  Comfort food!  Glad that whole desire to get healthy thing passed quickly.

Up until this point, this post hasn't been very blogworthy: I'm out of shape... I want to join a gym... I'm cheap.... I like McDonald's.  I almost fell asleep typing it.

But sometimes something happens that makes you say now this is blogworthy.

And that something was when the 22-year-old gym membership guy chased me into the McDonald's and called me out for eating there.


How many people have had somebody follow them into a McDonald's and give them crap for eating that crap?  IT'S LIKE THE WHOLE WORLD KNOWS THAT I BLOG NOW. 

I got a double cheeseburger value meal and he got a Gatorade.  I think we're even.  

OKAY, OKAY.  You win.  Where do I sign?