Tuesday, January 3, 2012

New Year's Resolutions

It's the first week of January and you know what that means.  People everywhere are jotting down their 2012 New Year's Resolutions.  

Which I will totally do... right after I down this puppy.

They vow to lose weight, quit drinking booze or stop yelling at their husband for leaving his dirty underwear on the bedroom floor.  People quit vices cold-turkey swearing that this time it will be different.

Pfft. Dummies.  

Don't they know how this story is going to end?  

A survey of adult Americans making New Year's Resolutions found that
  • 68% will quit after the first week of January
  • Another 18% will quit after the second week
  • Another 12% will quit before the end of the month 

And the 2% that didn't quit?  They lied about it.  But I guess that goes without saying.

And who can blame them?  January is the worst month to give up bad stuff that makes you happy!

It's depressing with all the cold weather and post-Christmas credit card bills rolling in.  Sometimes a hot toddy is just what you need to take the edge off.  It's also the perfect time to hide all those fat rolls underneath a big sweater.  Let's save the diet and exercise resolutions for bathing suit season.

But what?  You're different and you'll keep all your resolutions this year?

Okay.  I'll give you that.  You might fall into the 2% of people who may or may not be lying about sticking to their resolutions.      

But just in case you fall into the 98% people who tell the truth quit their resolutions within the first month, may I make a suggestion?  Forget the New Year's Resolution ritual all together!

Instead of making a list of things to take away from your life for those seven... long... days..., why not make a list of things that you want to add to your life to make you happier?  A GET HAPPY BUCKET LIST.

Take a vacation.  Book a spa day.  Have a romantic date night with your spouse.  Play with your kids at the park.  Spread some gossip.  Buy the shoes.  Whatever makes you happy. 

But most importantly - eat the donut.  Your success rate is guaranteed to be 100%.