Monday, January 16, 2012

Today is my husband's birthday...

But no matter how many birthdays he has, he is still younger than me.  You know why?  BECAUSE I KEEP HAVING BIRTHDAYS, TOO.

Some people prefer summer or winter, but my favorite time of year is the four months between Brian's birthday and my birthday because that's when I'm only two years older than him.  I think it should become the official fifth season.  

He almost acted as old as me today, though.  Since he was off work, he scheduled his annual physical with his primary care physician.  Going to the doctor's office on your birthday?  That's what Paw Paws do!  YAY!  I FEEL YOUNG.

Nothing puts a dark cloud over your birthday like discussing your elevated cholesterol or increasing BMI.  So how do you make yourself feel better?  You eat fried shrimp and chocolate cake for lunch.  And I joined him - you know - for moral support.  What kind of wife would I be if I let him face that high calorie lunch alone?

So here's the funny thing about birthdays: the younger you are, the more you want them! 

My three-year-old has been pouting all day because it wasn't his birthday.  When we were singing Happy Birthday to Brian, he interrupted and said,

"It was my birthday one day and I had a race car party and it was great and everything was red and black and I had a Lightning McQueen cake and we ate donuts and my sister was there and...."  

Seriously.  It was the longest run-on sentence in history.  Come on, Drew - quit stealing the show like Lady Gaga's outfits.  This is your Dad's thirty-second moment.

One of the gifts that we gave Brian was a digital stubble trimmer.  A very high-tech gadget for the man who wants to look precisely lazy.  Drew spent a solid eight minutes explaining how to use it.

"See, Mama.  You push dat buddon right dare.  And den it goes buzzzzzzzzz.  And den dat makes da hair on ya face look puh-fect.  You should use it, Mama."

Well, thank you, son.  And just think - I was lovin' your little HSN audition until that last sentence.  Way to steal my joy on the first official day of Brian's only two years younger than me season.

"WAITER, I'm going to need another piece of chocolate cake over here!"

Happy Birthday to my hottie husband!