Friday, February 24, 2012

Doctors Make Kids Smarter

We walked into the doctor's office this week and Drew immediately ran over to play with the toy pictured below.  And I got to thinking, Have I ever seen one of these anywhere EXCEPT a doctor's office?

Can't you just see him getting smarter?

So since I do ridiculous research while normal people are sleeping, I looked it up.  It's called a Wooden Bead Maze Table.  Wow.  Really?  I never would have guessed.

This toy has been around so long that it was named before toy distributors needed to create catchy titles for internet ads and infomercials.  Toys used to be called what they actually are like "blocks" and "Pick Up Sticks".

Wooden Bead Maze Tables "include bright colors which encourage children to learn their colors much more quickly.  They also help children develop basic hand-eye coordination.  The movable parts, not only develop motor skills, but also teach children to learn their numbers more rapidly.  Wooden Bead Maze Table play will significantly increase the intelligence of your child."

Well no wonder kids are so dumb these days!  The only time that they play with this toy is when they're sick and doped up on Benedryl!

Name one doctor's office waiting room without it and I'll buy you dinner.  Wooden Bead Maze Table 101 must the prerequisite to Human Anatomy in med school.

So if you want to make your kid smarter - not that I'm worried about Drew eating potting soil or anything - but you know, just hypothetically - where can you find one of these puppies?

Because I've never seen one at Target.  I've never seen one at Toys R Us.  And I've never seen any child write "Wooden Bead Maze Table" just below "Wii" or "Nintendo DS" on their Christmas list.  Kids must love being dumb.

So I guess they leave me no choice but to steal one from the doctor's office.  That'll teach my kid to be smarter.

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  1. But you did not take the "toy" because they are "smart" enough to make them so large you can't stick it in your purse. You can't casually walk out saying "oh I thought he brought this in with him!" I know how it works because I've spent many hours in waiting rooms. I had a suitcase packed with snacks, clothes, and GASP! toys! Parents and children alike tried to make off with "our toys" before we could be called back to see the doctor. One Mom really said to me..."oh that is my daughter's doll. Please return it." I said..."really? The one that is still in the suit case or it's twin that is in my daughter's hand, because both of my daughters have the same doll. That's why that one has an A and this one has a D on the doll's foot." So any toy is free game in a doctor's office! Well.. except the large bead one that they love in the doctors office but will only play with it 25 minutes at most. THAT is why you only see them in Doctor's office.

  2. So true!! And come to think of it, Drew did snag a little alien toy from the doctor's office last time we were there, but we have never been able to take the Wooden Bead Maze Table... yet.