Monday, February 13, 2012

Weight Watchers Tricked Me

Many of you have asked me how Weight Watchers is going.... well, it's going.  I've lost 3.5 pounds so far.

But before you give me a cyber-pat on the back, you should know that one of my sisters has lost 10-pounds and the other has lost 20-pounds in that same amount of time.  So, yeah.  I'm not awesome at it, but it's slowly working.  I hope.

Maybe it's all that counting points that's holding me back.  I've never really been good at math.   Can I write an essay about the high calorie foods that I'm eating instead?

I've got to be honest here, the Weight Watchers program has really disappointed me.

I've been on the diet for weeks and I still can't sing like Jennifer Hudson.  Not even close.  Look, I saw those commercials and I know what I was promised: beautiful falsettos and lyrics like Birds flying high, you know how I feel. Sun in the sky, you know how I feel...

Well, Miss Me jeans, I know how YOU feel.  Tight, like a tourniquet, and slowly cutting off the blood flow to my legs.  Another few weeks of this and I might lose a foot.  

And speaking of medical stuff, I went to the doctor last week and the nurse said that I was 5'1".  YET ANOTHER WEIGHT WATCHERS LIE.

I thought surely some of those Charles Barkley tall mo-fo genes would have rubbed off on me by now.  But nooooo - just like before the program -  I'm short, my hands are small, and I can't shoot for crap.

So here's the official Weight Watchers update:  I don't like math, I can't sing, I'm a terrible athlete, and I've got enough muffin tops to open my own bakery.

Such a disappointment. 
Order your t-shirt today!  Support group meetings starting soon.