Sunday, May 13, 2012

Mommy Rhapsody

Here's a Mother's Day performance just for you! (And everybody else at my church.)

My church was all like, 'Who can we ask to play the broom guitar and do cartwheels in front of the entire congregation?  Oh, I know!  That girl who blogs.  She obviously doesn't mind embarrassing herself in public.'

Oh, and I'm sorry about the poor video quality, but my personal videographer asked for the day off.  Something about going to see his Mom for Mother's Day.  GAH.  It's so hard to find good help these days.


Is this the real life
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide
No escape from reality
Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see
I'm just a mom
I need no sympathy
Because I do it all on the go
Poopy pants, snotty nose
Kitchen, kids and laundry
Everything is dirty
No sleep, no sleep.

Momma, I puked in the van
Momma, there's gum stuck in my hair
I just pushed Tyler down the stairs (he's bleeding)
Momma, where did I come from?
Better ask your daddy that when he gets home

Momma, oooooooh I don't wanna die
Well, you should have thought of that before you broke my lamp!

I smell a little bit of poopy in the van
Sarah move, Sarah move
Get your butt in the Durango
Daddy's will be home late, better fix a hot plate NOW!
Fettuccini Ravioli Fettucini Ravioli Fettucini Alfredo Magnifico!

I'm just a poor boy. Can I have some money please?
What do I look like? Money doesn't grow on trees!
Maybe if you ever picked up your things!
Party at Stevie's house will you let me go?
Joshua, we will not let you go!
Let me go!
Joshua, we will not let you go!
Let me go!
Joshua, we will not let you go!
Let me go!
Will not let you go! Will not let you go!
Let me go!
No, no, no, no, no!
Oh mamma mia, momma mia, let me go!
If you ask me one more time I'll scream!
I'll scream! I'll scream!

So you think I don't care if you stay up and cry?
So you think I don't need any sleep tonight?
Oh, oh baby
Please just go to sleep baby
Just gotta get out
Just gotta right out of here

In the end it's worth it
I wouldn't change a thing
In the end it's worth it
In the end it's worth it to me

 Gotta wash the kid's clothes

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  1. Most Awesome Broom Guitar Solo Ever.

    And,...that's a rowdy church! Ha ha!

    1. Thanks! It's the only instrument that I play really well. :)

  2. You are so brilliant.

    Demented, but brilliant.

    Happy Mother's Day!

    1. I keep waiting on that moment when realize how ridiculous I am... :)

  3. Well-played! Happy Mother's Day to you!

  4. Brava! Brava! You're so brave - the broom solo was fantastic, as was the rest of the performance. LOVE your Church, by the way... Happy Mother's Day!

    1. There aren't a lot of churches cool enough to allow this kind of performance. My church rocks! Love it there.

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