Thursday, September 1, 2011

What's In Your Wallet?

Several years ago, I stumbled across a small piece of torn paper tucked away in my (now) husband's wallet.  On that 4 inch by 4 inch square, I found what appeared to be an itemized list of goals.

And since it would have been a total privacy violation to read it, I promptly returned the list to his wallet.

Come on, people! Of course I read it.  Duh.

The list included things like "get a promotion" or "save $10,000 this year".  I think I might have even teared up a little when I read number 4: Show Amanda every day how much I love her.

Yeah, there's nothing hotter than a man who puts you on his Wallet List.

When I asked him about it later, he said that keeping a list of goals with him at all times was like magic - they just seemed to come to fruition.  And then periodically, he would update his list, removing the met goals and replacing them with the yet-to-be-met ones.

I'm no mathematician, but according to Brian, there is a simple formula here: Setting goals + Jotting them down on a torn envelope = Dreams coming true.

Why is he keeping this golden information to himself?  What President Obama wouldn't give to make his magical list!: 1) Make teleprompters invisible 2) Ban Fox News 3) Don't  say things like "Well, I think I've been to 57 states now.." (And yes, he did say that during the Presidential campaign.  YouTube it.  Or just watch Fox News before they get banned.)

But the really remarkable part of this blog post is that I've HAD this information for years and I've never taken advantage of it.  That's like a leprechaun leaving you a map to the end of the rainbow on your front door step seven years ago, and you just haven't gotten around to picking up your pot of gold yet.

As I made my To Do List at work today, I thought about how awesome it would be if my To Do List was actually a Wallet List, which reminded me that I need to make one of those bad boys.

Brian always seems to have ten items on his list.  I'm not sure if this is a requirement or not, but just in case, you'll see diez temas on my list, too.  I don't mess around with magic mojo.

My Wallet List

1) Win the lottery.  But I wouldn't be greedy about it. I'd be perfectly willing to split 360 million dollars with five other people. 
2) Ban those ridiculous Facebook status games where you post "I'm 13 weeks and craving a Snickers" and that somehow means that you are promoting Breast Cancer awareness.  I hate to be the bearer of bad news here, but the only thing that you're promoting is Facebook rumors and my butt busting out of my jeans.   
3) Clowns should be eliminated from the universe. Post about Creepy Clowns 
4) All puppies should arrive sleeping through the night and completely potty trained.  This goes for children, too.  
5) 80s hair should always be in style.  Yes, I know that it's obnoxious and hideous, but this is personal.  It can take me up to two hours to look "natural" but only five minutes and a bottle of Aussie Scrunch Spray to look like the front row of a Van Halen concert.  Hey, if you don't like it, make your own Wallet List.
6) I've decided that I've lost enough weight; I just need to figure out a way to grow five inches taller.  So I need this list to make that happen because Lord knows genetics sure let me down.
7) After reading this blog post, all readers will completely forget that they ever heard about the magic Wallet List. You know, like what used to happen on Inspector Gadget? Sorry, guys - there might be some kind of limit on the magic and I can't take any chances. 
8) Wallet Lists don't have to be exclusively carried in wallets anymore.  They can also be found in make-up bags, diaper bags, laptop bags or grocery bags.  Blogs are okay, too.
9) It's difficult to think of ten humorous goals. Change Wallet List requirement to five items next time.
10) Tell my husband and my children every day that I love them! (I had to throw one serious goal in there.)

Move over, Bucket List.  There's a new game in town.