Friday, December 9, 2011

I'm Plop For Teacher

When I picked up Drew from preschool yesterday, his teacher said, "Drew had a really rough day."

Awww!  A rough day?  Did he get hurt?  Did he not like his lunch?  Did he finally work up the nerve to talk to Emily only to discover that she is holding out for Mr. Thumb-Sucker over there?

Nope.  It was worse than that.

During circle time, she heard Drew crying from the bathroom.  He was screaming, "I pee-peed in my face!  I pee-peed in my face!"

That's right, ladies and gentlemen, he peed in his own face.

With little girls, all you have to do is make sure that they make it to the potty.  But for little boys, there is a placement issue.  I'm still working through the learning curve.

And like what happens with an unattended water hose in your flower bed on a beautiful Spring day, Drew shot pee everywhere!  He sprayed the floor, the sink and the wall.  It's, like, really gross graffiti for toddlers.   Drew must be working on his street cred.

Throughout the day, she kept asking Drew if he needed to go to the potty and he said that he didn't.

He lied.

And wouldn't you after all that water boarding from earlier?  His Mama didn't raise no fool!  I should know.

So while Drew was in the computer lab, she noticed him creating his own personal Lake Eerie on the tile floor.  Then his friend Luke slipped and fell in it.  Awesome.

Toward the end of the day, Drew walked up to his teacher and handed her a pile of poop.  Yes, his very own Play-Doo sculpture.

Startled, she yelled, "DREW, WHERE DID YOU FIND THIS?!"
And he said,  "Near my butt.  In my Thomas underwear."

I did feel sorry for her, really I did.  And even though my head was thinking, I'm so sorry!  Can I buy you a spa gift certificate?, what came out of my mouth was  "hahahahahaha! *inhale* hahahahaha!"

She didn't seem to think it was as funny as I did, though.  I guess poop will do that to a person.

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  1. That's hilarious!!!! I love it!!!!!

  2. OMG.....I haven't laughed this hard in forever!!! I literally have tears streaming down my face! And, ironically enough, I almost peed my pants....FOR REAL!! You can't make that stuff up!! :)

  3. I agree with April. I'm surprised I didn't wake up my four sleeping kids, I was laughing so hard. Thanks, I needed that. :)

  4. As a preschool teacher,I am horrified!! And so disgusted! Maybe I could laugh at this later but I can so see this happening! Please tell me you got her that spa certificate?

  5. The funniest thing I have read in a long time! Just found your blog, already addicted!