When we got home from Halloween trick-or-treating this year, I turned on the television and saw the first Black Friday commercial from Walmart. Could you at least give me enough time to take off these fangs and black eyeliner first? It's hard to be in the Christmas spirit while I'm eating my third gummy eyeball.
I was inspired to write a few lines below. I would have posted this before now, but OKAY, OKAY! YOU'RE SICK OF HEARING ABOUT THANKSGIVING VOMIT. GAH.
So even though reading this poem today is like attending a New Year's Eve party on January 16th, I hope you enjoy it anyway.
Today is November 1st
And what do I already hear?
Hark the Harold Angels Sing
Bringing tidings of great cheer
Christmas wreaths and candy canes
Ads for Black Friday sales
But isn't a little early?
Santa's still skiing in Vail
It's the first day of November
Halloween was just last night
I've still got a candy hangover
And my dress still fits too tight
There's a pumpkin on the porch
There's a skeleton on the door
Baby Jesus and a witched witch
Shouldn't share the same decor
Do you hear that in the distance?
It's the sound of tiny screams
Why! It's our friend Thanksgiving, saying,
"Did you forget about me?"
So put down that box of tinsel
And stop singing O Holy Night
Just be thankful for this moment
And eat another pumpkin pie