Sunday, January 8, 2012

Silver snot can be dangerous

At one point, I thought I might be sending Drew off to college still sleeping in a baby crib.  It was too easy to leave him in there because he never tried to climb out of it.

Parents, you know how it is: one day you accidentally let your child watch a few minutes of Shawshank Redemption on TNT, and the next thing you know, he's trying to escape the confines of his barred bed.  And that's inconvenient.  It's not cool to wake up at 3 a.m. and hear your toddler watching HBO and eating Oreos downstairs in the living room.

But Drew never did that.  He would wake up in the morning and play with some Hot Wheels until 9 or 9:30 and then I'd hear, "Mama, I'm ready to get out of my bed now."

I know.  If I could bottle that crap up, I'd be a zillionaire. 

But when people started judging me we decided that it was time to get him a "big boy bed", we went with a convertible model.

This is not my son or my house.  I just wasn't smart enough to take a pic of the bed before Brian painted it.

Drew slept like a baby during the first night in his new bed.  Oh.  Maybe I should say that he slept like a toddler?  Anyway, I didn't sleep a wink.  I was constantly walking into his room and making sure that he was okay.  What's that sound?  Is that Drew trying to sneak downstairs for HBO and Oreos?  I better go check.

But guess what?  Drew never tried to escape from that bed, either.  And it doesn't even have bars!  YES!  No more harsh judgments from others!

But on Friday, Drew said that he didn't like his car bed anymore because it was red instead of silver.  And after all that poking and prodding at the doctor's office this week, if my baby wanted a silver car bed, then my baby was gonna get a silver car bed!

I have no idea why my children are so spoiled, by the way.  

Brian transformed our garage into a Maaco collision center.   Twelve hours and $150 later, we had a SILVER car bed.  And by "we", I mean that Brian did all the labor and I watched Wizards of Waverly Place with the kids.  HEY.  Somebody had to find out who became the family wizard.  (Spoiler Alert: It was Alex.)

From red to silver and some new shiny alloy wheels.

And don't worry about Brian inhaling all those toxic paint fumes in the garage.  He asked the invisible guy standing beside him if he saw the dancing pink elephants too, but he didn't, so I think we're good.

Brian blew a Kleenex-full of silver snot, and then he went to bed high as a kite.  On a scale of 1 to Charlie Sheen, he was an 11.  I can't wait to see what anomaly this causes - maybe a third eye, maybe some horns growing out of his head?

But Drew's bed will be SILVER and I think "we" can all agree that it was worth it.