That was a mistake.
Parents, let me tell you about the courses that your kids will take at a Christian college. First, there's Keg Stands 101, then there's Hunch Punch 105, and let's not forget the all-important Sneaking Into A Boy's Dorm Room At 2 a.m. 102. NOT THAT I EVER TOOK ANY OF THOSE COURSES OR ANYTHING.
|This is a dramatic reenactment. The people displayed in this cartoon are just actors and not actual students.|
P.S. I believe that even stick figures deserve to wear nice shoes.
Parents think that they're helping their kids by sending them to a Christian school, but instead, they're throwing them into a mosh pit full of wild PKs (that's "Preacher's Kids" for all of you who didn't go to a Christian college). And you know what happens to PKs when they're away from their parents, right? Right. You're much safer sending your kids to a "party school" like the University of Georgia and encouraging them to join a Bible Study.
My best friend Laura was raised by Christian college ROYALTY. Her grandfather was the former President of the college and was credited with building that school from the ground up. That made Laura a PK Princess.
After failing Keg Stands 101 (how do you keep beer from coming out your nose?) and reverting back to my former high school goodness, I was asked to be a Student Leader - giving new students tours of the campus, answering questions, being a role model - yada, yada.
During a summer orientation, the college President asked me to pay special attention to one new student - the PK Princess - and help her fit in and make friends.
Great. A blind date. I hate being set-up. I'm sure this girl will be a total dweeb. (By the way, when I'm writing about 1994, I feel that it's important to adjust my insults accordingly.)
But guess what? That blind date turned out to be just like a Nicolas Sparks novel! After five minutes, we were all like, "If you're a bird, then I'm a bird."
Since then, we've shared a lot together. Life has changed over the years and life has changed us over the years - and I'd say, for the better.
At first, it was Spring Break in Panama City and St. Patrick's Day in Savannah. Then it was graduations and careers. Then marriage showers, baby showers, divorces, remarriages, and more children. And I wouldn't trade one minute of the ups and downs.
Well, except for the jello shots in Savannah. I'd gladly give those back.
And now she's having a baby!
I love other people's babies, don't you? You get to buy them cute stuff, hold them, give them back to their parents, and then go home to sleep for eight loooooooooong uninterrupted hours.
Last night, Laura had a Gender Reveal Party to reveal the gender of her baby to family and friends. Everybody wore pink or blue to cast their vote.
|Am I really that pale? GAH. I look just like one of those Twilight kids. |
I hope that I have glitter skin when I walk in the sun... if I can ever find it.
Here are a couple of statistics: 95% of party attendees wore blue, but I wore pink, and I'm wrong 100% of the time.
Have you figured it out yet? IT'S A BOY!
|Being wrong never felt so good!|
By the way, do you see those little blue shoes to the left of the cake? That was my gift. I had pink sandals in my purse, too, so either way, I was going to look like I knew it all along! Cheat to win, people. Cheat to win.
|Here is what was left of the cake. I don't know much about Reveal Party traditions...|
Are you supposed to freeze the left boob and then eat it on the baby's first birthday?
Congratulations, Laura! I am so happy for you and I can't wait to spoil your little Prince!