Thursday, May 24, 2012

Summer Guilt of a Working Mom

Summer break is just around the corner. Many Moms will start their countdown to sleeping in, hanging out by the pool and spending quality time with their children. But me? I will start my countdown to beginning another week just like the one before it.

We will still be getting up at 6:30 AM. We'll still be rushing out the door as I hand my kids a granola bar to eat for breakfast. And then I'll drive them to Summer Camp where they'll be crammed into a room full of other kids whose Moms also don't love them. (Sorry, that's the Mommy Guilt talking.)

And, sure - they will enjoy the occasional field trip to the zoo or aquarium to make me feel better, but mostly, they will just read or color or play video games eight hours a day.  

I remember how wonderful Summers were when I was a kid. We baked cookies at 3 AM, slept until noon, and spent the rest of our time swimming or playing at the park. Summer was awesome!

But I don't think it feels any different for my kids, and I feel awful about that. So that's when my guilt kicks into high-gear and I start eating cookie dough straight out of the refrigerator.



Social media has only amplified the problem.

Here's an example of the Facebook statuses that I'll see next week:
"Spending all day long by the pool!"
"Loving this time with my kiddos!"
"Every day is Saturday at our house!"

I bet Instragram will have to temporarily shut down from the millions of people trying to upload a photo of their feet with a pool in the background - but don't worry - one sepia tone and your's will look completely different.

Pinterest will be packed full of pins like "25 Things To Keep Kids Busy" or "Fun Summer Crafts". And even though none of us are actually going to do these things, I want to pin them anyway.      

The venting tweets will also begin next week:
"It's the third day of Summer and already my kids are bored!"
"I can't believe that my kids are still asleep."
"My kids are so lazy."

My iPhone will become a quiet reminder of what I'm missing because I work.

Do you know what day is Saturday at my house? Saturday. That's it. Just one day. And my Saturday is usually filled with things that kids love like scrubbing floors or folding laundry. Maybe even an occasional run to the grocery store.

My Instagram photos will be of my children posing in front of their Summer Camp building. There won't be any bare feet or gorgeous pools in the background, but I'll try to capture that big, green dumpster if I can.

I'll probably be pinning things like "25 Ways to Deal with Mommy Guilt" or "Tips for Working Mothers", or maybe I'll just skip those and go straight to the "Best Cocktails" pin.

I won't have anything to say on Twitter, so I'll just have to rely on retweets from Conan O'Brien or Dane Cook to fill my page.

And while your children are driving you crazy, my children will be driving somebody else crazy. I don't get to be annoyed with them for begging to go bowling. I don't get to yell at them for being lazy. I don't get to complain that, no matter how much I pick up, I just can't keep the house clean when the kids are at home.

About this time of year, I always want to quit my job, or at least go back in time to when a young, skinny, 20-year-old me decided that an Early Childhood Education Degree was a bad idea and slap the stupid out of her.

But yesterday, I saw the sign. (Did that make you think about Ace of Base? No? Just me?)

I used my lunch break to go to Bailey's school and look at the 5th grade Social Studies projects. They were on-display in the media center, which I still call the "library" because I'm so old school (literally).

I walked into the library media center and saw a group of Moms who were busy organizing materials for various teachers.



First off, let's talk about my private detective skills for a minute, shall we? How do you like them apples? I've learned that if you turn the flash off and pretend to be checking-in on Facebook, you can totally snag a photo without anybody knowing that you took it, probably.

I'm sure you can imagine the conversation that was going on here. It was a paper sorting freenzy, y'all. I think I saw the speed barrier broken at least twice, and if organizing worksheets was an Olympic Event, there would have been more gold in that room than on Nelly's teeth. I was so impressed with their hard work as volunteers.

I watched them for a couple of minutes. It got a little snarky. ("I thought you said the multiplication sheet went on top?!"... "Uhmmm, no, I said the bottom.") It got a little stressful. ("Five minutes left, ladies!  Five minutes left!") And they were making a huge sacrifice of their time.  ("As soon as we're done here, I've got to go to Mrs. Smith's room and help her set up for the party.")

These Moms were busting their butts - helping somebody else do their job - and probably receiving very little appreciation in return. That's exactly like a real job - throw in a pair of uncomfortable shoes and some crappy coffee and you've got a side-by-side perfect match.

Except for one thing - these ladies were paid NOTHING - unless, of course, you count the currency of a 5th grader rolling her eyes and whispering, "Ugh.  My Mom is sooooooo embarrassing."

But guess what? I get a free pass on all that crap.

Nobody bothers asking me if I can sort multiplication worksheets tomorrow because they already know what I'm going to say: "Awwww! Sorry! I have to work."

And there's more.

If my children wear wrinkled clothes to school or if I forget to put lunch money in their account, I'm forgiven. The teacher just sighs and thinks to herself, 'Poor kid. You know, that's what happens when your mother works.'

Charlotte's web can say, "Forget Wilbur and SAVE THIS HOUSE" in the corner of my living room and it's totally fine because I work.

And if my family wants a warm, delicious meal on the table at 6 o'clock - that's fine, too - because Dominos delivers and I work.

In that moment, I was reminded that being a stay-at-home-Mom is a really hard job.  One that never ends, one that doesn't get enough respect, and one that I probably couldn't handle.

I might not be starting my ideal summer vacation next week, but I'm not stapling worksheets together, either. I guess it all balances out in the end.




read to be read at yeahwrite.me


Lurker’s favorite by our new lurking judge Kristin W of That Unique* Weblog

I chose Amanda of Werdyab’s post Summer Guilt of a Working Mom. As a mostly SAHM, I was ready to put up my dukes and cock an eyebrow at her envy of the summer days of leisure. In the end, however, she pulled off an authentic appreciation of a different lifestyle while remaining confident in her own.
I also liked how Amanda combined the envy of moms who get to be at home with their kids with her relief that she won’t be. She writes, “And while your children are driving you crazy, my children will be driving somebody else crazy. I don’t get to be annoyed with them for begging to go bowling. I don’t get to yell at them for being lazy. And I don’t get to complain that, no matter how hard I work, I just can’t keep the house clean when the kids are at home.”
These days, it’s encouraging to see a parent who genuinely wants something different acknowledging that the greener grass we envy actually takes a lot of maintenance on all sides. And who can resist an Ace of Base reference followed by a Charlotte’s Web adaptation?
Congrats, Amanda, on the win and thanks, Kristin, for volunteering to be one of our weekly lurkers!

Lurker’s fave by mystery lurkers Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Ellen: Guilt, especially mommy guilt, comes in all flavors. Amanda of Werdyab shared hers with us in a way that was poignant, honest, and still managed to make us laugh.
Erin: She lets us all off the hook. It was real in a way that we like here in The Sisterhood. It made us want to invite her over for some of those cocktails she’ll be collecting on Pinterest.
Ellen: We give her a cheer for her sensibility. She highlighted that we are all just doing what we do and trying to find balance while doing it.
Erin: It was warm, funny, and darn good writing,
Ellen: Her mad detective skills and Ace of Base reference put this one over the top.
       Congrats, Amanda, on the double-lurker win and on the top five finish! Thanks, Erin and Ellen,
       for the pick.

94 comments:

  1. fabulous post. and one i sooo agree with on so many levels. my girl is only (almost) 2.5 so i'm new to letting go of the working (out of the house) mom guilt. it took a good year to get over it but now? now i'm really ok with the way everything has turned out. especially b/c of this: "stay-at-home-Mom is a really hard job. One that never ends, one that doesn't get enough respect, and one that I probably couldn't handle."

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    1. Being a working Mom is hard. Being a stay-at-home-Mom is hard. Basically, just being a Mom is really hard. :) Thanks for your comment!

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  2. Love it, Werdyab author whose name I can't remember and I'm too lazy to go to your "about me" page to see if I can find it.

    As always.

    Love, Anne-the-fan

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    1. hahaha! That's what happens when I always sign everything "Werdyab Blog".

      Love ya back,
      Amanda/ Werdyab Author

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  3. Love this....and I think whether you work or stay at home, we are all just doing the best that we can! The guilt comes on both sides. After the summer honeymoon is over, I'll be wishing I had a job to go to....lol...and I'll feel guilty for thinking that.

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    1. You are so right, Janis. We're always going to feel some guilt as Moms. I guess that how we know that we are trying our best. :)

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  4. I am a stay at home mom most of the time (except for when I try & balance a part-time working from home job too). I love time with my kids and seeing them do little things... sometimes. Then there are times that I wish I did work so that could enjoy grown up conversation...that I had a reason to get out of my PJ's before Daniel comes home at 5 so it looks like I've been doing something all day...that I had to run by the grocery on the way home in my work clothes, instead of going before nap time in my sweat pants with a screaming baby...that my extra money for spa days and beachfront vacations instead of consignment sale clothes & diapers in bulk.
    It's not always all it's cracked up to be - I envy your time *away* from the kids as much as you envy my time with them.
    Of course, I wouldn't change it...most days.

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    1. Thank you for posting this! There are definitely pros and cons to both, and I guess none of us get to have it all.

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  5. You literally jabbed me right in my heart with this one! I dread summer every year for this very reason! I sat with a group of mom's at a softball party just last night and listened as they all chatted about their fun summer plans - headed to Florida for 2 weeks, hanging out by the pool and "they MAY do some camps here and there". I just kept thinking how nice it would be for camp to be an OPTION! Every year I try to figure out how to stop working in the summer, but I haven't come up with anything yet! Thanks for the post - I still feel guilty, but not so alone :-)

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    1. We should start a softball Moms support group!! :) We all just want the best for our kids. Being a Mom is a hard job!

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  6. WONDERFUL post! I just loved it! There is a common factor about our summers.. at some point during the summer we are all going to wish we could trade places with each other. At the beginning, the working mom wants to switch with the sahm, and towards the end the sahm would give anything for grown up work and a day away. -- For me, the best part of the motherhood blogging community has become getting glimpses into other moms' worlds. And realizing that, while *what* we struggle with may very well be different (and then at times, not at all), we ALL struggle. We're all on the same team. Mom guilt exists NO MATTER what your particular motherhood looks like. Here's where we can help build each-other up and reassure each other that our kids just need our love, they don't need us to look like or act like the mom down the street, because she's not theirs. Your kids are not missing out on ANYTHING.. because they have a good mom that loves them, and that's all they need.

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    1. Beautifully said! We are all on the same team! And I am always so thankful for the support. So...uh... what week do you want to trade places? :)

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  7. Agreed, being a mom is hard in general! There are never enough hours in the day. I've been on both sides of the fence. I was a working mom and now I am a SAHM and some days I truly think the SAHM thing is harder than working.

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    1. I've never been a SAHM, but I have spent a week vacation at home before. And I very quickly learned that being a SAHM is a HARD JOB!

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  8. I'm in a tough place guilt wise too:( I am a mostly SAHM who works out of the home one day a week. On Saturdays. One weekend day shot to hell. So, not only do I get to carry the guilt of a) choosing to financially burden my family by not being a contributor to the family coffers and b) not being able to keep up with the housework etc...because kids are terrorists, thereby failing at my chosen "profession" I also get to make comments like "Sorry sweetie, we can't do (insert super fun mind blowing children's activity here)because mommy needs to go to work" and hear comments like "If you didn't have to go to work we could actually spend some family time together"

    Damned if you do and damned if you don't. It's good to know that the other side of the fence has guilt too. Misery loves company:)

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    1. Thank you for your comment! I love hearing other perspectives and experiences. Finding the balance between time and money is such a struggle. Either way, we are going to feel guilty at some point.

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  9. Hey dont be guilty about working. Your kids will still have fun and you can have fun with them.

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    1. I try really hard to "make up for it" when I'm home. I try to do fun stuff with the kids on the weekends. Sometimes we go to the pool for an hour when I get home from work. Thanks for your comment! :)

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  10. thank you for this post. I`d really like it. I´am from Argentina and here its the same thing with the guilty and everything else. I´m a working mom but I take a hollydays for a month each summer, and we moving out to the summer´s grandma house, and it have a pool. Ever have a way for enjoy every moment, it just find it. Sorry for my little spanglish! chuick!

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    1. You definitely win the award for the person traveling the farthest to comment on this blog! :) Sounds like you are doing everything to give your kids a wonderful summer and you are a great Mom! I hope you enjoy your time with them. :)

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  11. eh...the grass she is always greener. I figure if we're happy, our kids stand a fighting chance of being happy, barring crises and dire acts of god or nature. Working is hard and a pain in the ass, frequently; staying home all day with the kids is hard and a pain in the ass. In all those pool pictures what you don't see is STOP PUSHING YOUR SISTER PUT ON YOUR SUNSCREEN NO YOU CANT HAVE ANOTHER POPSICLE STOP PUSHING YOUR SISTER PUT ON YOUR SUNSCREEN .... and repeat 80 gazillion times. Big fun. We find joy where we can, I think, and if that's dominos-we-deliver sitting on the floor of the living room, well, that's just fine. And no one ever, ever died from a wrinkled shirt. Ever. In the entire history of shirts. So I'd say you're doing just dandy! :)

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    1. Thank you!! I love to hear from the other side, too. I feel like I've really become part of a community of Moms. And NO MOM has it easy. Some Moms just have it different. :)

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  12. Parents (I'm not one) have so much guilt, no matter what, that I cannot begin to understand. It's easy for me to say, but it seems that if kids know they are loved, if they feel that, whether you work outside the home or not shouldn't matter. Anyway, I do know that my 10 yr old niece absolutely loves camp. Her parents work. Then she travels from Chicago to San Francisco and stays with me for 3 weeks every summer. Only through Skype do her parents see her during that time. She is in heaven. She loves her working parents unreservedly, but she so enjoys her summer experience as well. I bet your kids do too.

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    1. Stephanie, thank you so much for this comment! My daughter actually read this post and said, "Don't feel bad, Mama. We always have fun in the summer." So I think you are 100% right. :)

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  13. I'm glad you can see the good in your situation! Either way can be hard and mommy-guilt-inducing. My mom was home with us in the summers (she was her own boss and gave herself a very light summer load). But we also went to summer camp for a few weeks each summer and LOVED it.

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    1. There are pros and cons to both sides. Sometimes I HATE working, but I love getting paid on Friday. ;) As long as my kids are happy, though - I'm happy.

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  14. I felt the same way year after year, summer after summer. I worked every single effing day and dropped my daughter off at "summer camp" while others got to frolic and live freely. She actually didn't mind. For me, well, I thought it just sucked monkey balls. :(

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    1. I never had the opportunity to be a stay at home Mom. Last year when I walked out of a horrible job, I was at home for a few months. I loved every minute of it. I have a job now where the office closes for close to a month in December (our big holiday in South Africa) I get to be home with my family for most of our summer holiday. Give up on the guilt, your children are making different happy memories.

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  15. Aw, that is some stinky guilt. Good for you for seeing an upside...

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    1. It's too easy to be negative. I like to be positive and do things the hard way! :)

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  16. Oh, Mommy Guilt. Inevitable no matter where we are literally and figuratively! Great post.

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  17. I'm sorry you feel mommy guilt but I think as long as your kids are happy that you shouldn't feel bad. They get to have fun, interact and play with other kids their age. They are just doing it in a more structured environment is all. I think you are giving them something important too by being such a good role model. A good work ethic.

    Good job mamma!

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    1. Thank you so much! And, I always say that another silver lining is that my kids don't have to get "turned around" before school starts. :) Getting up at 6:30 is just what we do. All.Year.Long. :)

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  18. Your job is to make sure that your kids have everything they need. That is not the same thing as being the person to do it all for them. I'm sure they have lots of fun at those summer camps. I think you probably know that, but we all doubt our choices at times.

    I am a WAHM with a flexible schedule, so I get to sort book orders at the school (which I literally just came back from doing!) as well as "the work thing". It's the best of both worlds (except I never get to wear those gorgeous but uncomfortable shoes - well, I guess I could but they wouldn't go with my uniform of yoga pants + t-shirt + hoodie).

    It really doesn't matter what choice you make, there are pros and cons of every imaginable path you can take and at times we are all happy and then unhappy with the paths we are on. I'm glad you can see the silver lining.

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    1. I loved "your job is to make sure that your kids have everything they need. That is not the same as being the person to do it for them." Wow! Thank you!

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  19. Great post. As I was reading it became clear to me what you truly desire. I thought to myself, "All that she wants is another baby." :P That random Ace of Base interjection made me laugh, so I thought I'd come up with one of my own.

    I'm sorry that you have to deal with this work-home battle. In our world of two-income lifestyles, it becomes increasingly hard for moms (and the occasional dad) to pull the trigger on staying home or working from home. I wish you the best of luck!

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  20. I used to try to get the first week of summer vacation off. Other than that, I never felt a moments guilt dropping them off at day camp through the summer. While other kids were sitting around bored, hot and sweaty, mine were at the rec center playing in an air conditioned gym and swimming in an indoor pool.

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    1. So true! I don't think kids get as bored at summer camp and they always have friends to play with there. Come to think of it - they are probably glad to get rid of me! :)

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  21. Just found you via Yeah Write. Great post. I think there are pros and cons to both scenarios. I have been on both sides. I used to work full time. I felt like crap leaving my kids. Now I am home and only work odd freelance jobs here and there. I feel like crap about not making any money. No matter what my situation, I always feel guilt. Nothing is ever perfect. Life is full of choices. We all do what works best for our own situations and we work around it.

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    1. Awwww - yay! I love Yeah Write. I always struggle with the balance between time and money.

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  22. You know what? You are all kinds of levels of awesome. But you did insult me...hell yeah, I thought of Ace of Base. Peeshaw! Ellen

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    1. I knew I liked you, Ellen, from the very first time I tweeted you. :) ACE OF BASE 4-EVA!

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  23. Fantastic post and I completely relate. I should warn you that I got a degree in early childhood education and spent the last 4 years teaching in a YEAR ROUND PROGRAM. I spent my days doing all kinds of fabulous things with other people's kids when I so desperately wanted to be doing those with my OWN children. I was not heartbroken when I was laid off in May 2011 and enjoyed the summer with my crew. The grass is always greener though! After a year of being at home I am so desperate to get back to work and can't wait to start my new job next week :)

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    1. Robbie, thank you for making me feel better about not going with the education degree. :) The grass IS always greener! Congrats on your new job! I hope you love it!!

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  24. Omg I love the part about charlotte's web!!! So funny!!! I totally get the guilt but really, do you want to be like those moms in the picture??? They are resorting to stacking dittos for free to keep their minds sharp. That can't be good.

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    1. Lady, you are right. And if we are just talking about me, I would say that I LOVE working. But then I worry that by building a business (and a blog, too) that I'm not being the cookie baking, Pinterest craft making Mommy that my kids would love. Or would they?? I guess when they are adults, I'll ask them and see how much damage I did or didn't do. :)

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  25. Just when I think I cannot possibly love your blog anymore, you write something like this and BAM! Girl crush....I'm a stay home mom. I have 5 kids. 3 of them are BEGGING to go to summer camp. 1 is already whining that he's bored. Summer hasn't started yet. I'll probably be a full blown alcoholic by the end of the summer. Oh- and there is no arts and crafts at my house. Not since the 4 yr old tried to superglue the potholder to the dog. Yeah. Maybe I should go back to work....

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    1. Awwwww! Now I'm all blushin' 'n' stuff. (Call me.)

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  26. You have totally given this working mother another reason to not dust my house. What if it's Charlotte spinning a profound message? She would never write "clean the cobwebs from the corners."

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  27. I've already been stressing out about summer and it hasn't started yet. I'm a wahm, so I'll be trying to balance work with the kids. And they don't get that we can't go to the pool- they see me at the computer and assume I'm playing games when I could take them if I wanted... and I can't. One of mine will do summer camp even though he could stay home... we all have guilt!

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    1. Being a WAHM has got to be the hardest of all!

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  28. I love this post! The grass is always greener, right? I'm glad you were able to find some solace in all that worksheet stapling. I've been the working mom who tries to come in and help the room mom. I never felt comfortable, and always felt like the odd man out. I seen both sides! I'm home now, but yes, it's THE hardest job I ever had. I am thrilled that you can see the silver lining through the summer guilt. Your kids will have a blast at summer camp! :)

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    1. You're right - all of it's hard! We're all just trying to do what's best for our babies. And I guess that's not such a bad thing. :)

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  29. Yup - being a mom is hard, whether you work or stay home. I think we all sometimes see the benefits of the other side and can feel sorry for ourselves. All we can do is the best we can do and hope our kids appreciate it in the end.

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    1. So well said! People named Amanda must be smart! :)

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  30. This is my favorite post of the week. Thank you, thank you, thank you for saying this out loud. I realized pretty early I had better work because I was never going to fit in as a worksheet mom. I still miss summers, though!

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    1. PTA President is not for me, but sometimes I wish it was, though. We all just have to do what is best for us! There is no right or wrong here - only choices.

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  31. The guilt - oh the guilt... it's universal. I'm a stay at home mom, desperate for the summer because I freaking hate packing lunch and getting them out the door, but I feel guilty because I don't have activities lined up, and there's a good chance my kids will watch too much television and be hopelessly bored all summer long.

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    1. I know what you mean, Melissa. Both my kids are so active and have the attention span of a gnat. If I became a SAHM, they might just set up a lemonade stand in the front yard to pay for summer camp. ;)

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  32. My wife and I both work and spend half-time with our Little Dude. It's a strange mix to go from one extreme to the other in the course of a day, every day. Each side has its' pros and cons, though.

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    1. Absolutely! I can't imagine hitting an on/off switch like that. Even working full-time, sometimes I have trouble in the transition, too. It's always hard to wear two hats... sometimes I forget to take one off before I flop the other one on. :)

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  33. Great post. The thing about parenthood is that everyone has guilt. Whether you work or stay at home. What works for some parents doesn't work for others. I think if you love your kids, take care of your kids and spend time with your kids, then you are a good parent. :)

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  34. That guilt extends across the board. I feel badly that my kids haven't been able to enjoy the kind of vacations that I did when I was a kid. It might change, I expect it to change and I hope it will change.

    Mostly I hope that when it does change I won't get stuck thinking about what they missed and will spend time enjoying what they have.

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    1. When you want to give your kids everything, I think that's how you know you really love them. :) Thanks for the comment, Jack!

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  35. I LOVED this post! As a recent career-mom turned SAHM, I am still living with my feet in both worlds. And you're right, both worlds are tough, both worlds have trade-offs. I just feel fortunate that I know what it's like on both sides of the fence.

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    1. I should have picked your brain before this post! :) Thanks, Cat.

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  36. Damn, this post was excellent. Congrats on your Yeah Write wins. Totally deserved!

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    1. Thanks, girl! Congrats on your Top 5 snag! I loved your post! :)

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  37. i am a SAHM with guilt, too. i don't do crafts with my kids. i don't often take them fun places b/c of my anxiety issues and b/c i'm overwhelmed with our surprise/miracle baby and her nap/feeding schedule. i feel guilty getting a sitter so i can have a break. i feel guilty that my older two go to summer camp even though i am at home anyway w/ baby.

    i could do without all this guilt. tired of comparing myself and feeling like shit.
    i'm also w/ Jack who posted above---my kids need a real fun trip/vacation somewhere. but i'm so overwhelmed by all 3 of them that....i think i might lose it if i took them somewhere altogether.

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    1. Erin, I always say that Moms never go on "vacation". We just do all our normal daily stuff with better scenery. ;)

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  38. Sometimes you just have to work, and I know there are better things to be doing. Work is a necessity though, and its something all of us must do unless we have millions of dollars in the bank which most of us do not.

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    1. Still looking for that million dollar bank account! If you find it, will you let me know? ;)

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  39. I'm awash with Mommy Guilt, too, but we have to feed these kids, right? Smile, Supermom! You're doing all the right things!

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    1. Thanks!! Yes, working is a necessity when these kids need food... and iPads.

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  40. Awesome post - I've been a working mama and a SAHM, and if I've learned on thing it's that Mommy Guilt is universal - there's no escaping it, no matter what you do.

    I'm here from Confessions of a Semi-Domesticated Mama and Delilah's posts of the month - she was right, you're a must-read for sure!

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    1. Awwww! I love her blog! Thanks for stopping by, Robyn!

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  41. Glad I found this blog through yeahwrite and Twitter - great post!

    The guilt really is universal. Stay at home, work, work from home - whatever. And I am dreading the summer vacation. In less than four weeks school will be out for the summer and ... well... crap. No summer camps here my kids can go to, my daughter is too old for that anyway and my son is too high maintenance.
    I do wanna quit my job, but that's just because I hate it and not because it's summer break... (actually my boss might make that decision for me after the email I just sent him ;))

    Can't wait to read more of your stuff!

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    1. So are you still employed? I'm dying to hear about this email... :)

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  42. Great blog posted here.. Really very interesting.. Thanks for sharing this blog..
    ----
    Chaya
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  43. Just found your blog and I LOVE IT! I am always "guilt-ridden" when the first day of summer break starts! Don't even get me started on Facebook! LOL Summer break is one of many reasons I completely deleted my FB app. I was so irritated at reading post after post about SAHM enjoying their summers off with their children. I would be reading these posts while sitting in the break room at my work. Feeling inadequate and guilty, I finally had to realize that life does go on if you work. At the end of the day, your children still love you and honestly I doubt my children know any different about staying at home with mom during the summer. My husband grew up with his mom working full time and he wasn't scarred for life. In fact, some of the most fun times growing up were the times he spent at summer camp with friends:) It's just not an option for me to stay at home and I doubt it will ever be. So, for now I've just been seeking a content heart that this is they way is and I'm okay with that. :)

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  44. I have a 7 year old who is really proud of her mommy. My daughter does camps throughout the summer that she helps me pick and that she just loves - art, math, sports, theater - what fun! I use my substantial annual leave to accommodate shorter days that work with camp schedules so it feels fun and attentive. We end up having a lot of time together every day and week (and PEW indicates there's very little childcare difference between SAHM and WMs, who would have thought that) but it's nicely mixed with her other activities and her mommy working a job that she brags to others about. And her college fund is nicely stocked, as is retirement. Once they are school aged, there's 8 hours a day to fill while they're at school! My husband says I'm supermom and I feel very blessed.

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