My sister texted me two pics after the reception. She thought that I should post them on my blog for you to see "the real me".
You know how I portray myself as someone who's animated, ridiculous and will do anything for a cheap laugh?
Well, that's exactly how I am in real life, too.
Case in point. My sister snapped this pic while I was talking with my cousin, Deanna. So sweet. And totally normal, right?
But then 15 seconds later, I did this.
Please note that Deanna's facial expression didn't change because this sort of thing is considered normal when you're talking to me.
Okay, okay - sure. If I'd known that my sister was taking photos, OF COURSE I would have acted differently. I would've made a funny face or thrown a leg up in the air or something.
In related news, I met a fabulous lady at the reception!
For confidentiality purposes, we will call her "Jenny" because her name is Jenny.
Listen, y'all - if you're worried about confidentiality, don't hang out with a blogger. We don't give a crap about confidentiality. THAT'S WHY WE'RE BLOGGERS.
Jenny is 6'4" and GORGEOUS. She was wearing heels, so she was about 6'7" and looking all supermodelish. I scanned the room looking for "her people". Because every supermodel needs people to do things like 1) pick up her dry cleaning 2) fluff her pillow 3) stick their fingers down her throat if she tries to eat solid food.
But me? I'm 5'1" on a good day. And in this example, "a good day" refers to Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday or Sunday.
I was wearing heels, too, which meant that I was only about 5'4". And NOBODY confused me for a supermodel or subsequently scanned the room looking for "my people".
Jenny and I looked just like Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito in the movie Twins. She was the tall, beautiful, diplomatic one. And I was the short, dumpy, funny one. But I guess that goes without saying.
And get this - she reads my blog! Small world, huh? She said that she wanted to put me in her pocket. One more margarita, and I probably would've let her try.
Do you know what I immediately thought when she said that? BLOG VIDEO.
OMG, y'all. What's wrong with me where I make a new friend and all I can think about is putting her on my blog?
So here's my vision: 6'4" Jenny and 5'1" me will dress up in identical outfits and try to convince total strangers that we're actually twins.
Wouldn't that be hilarious? And, yes, that's a rhetorical. OF COURSE IT WOULD BE HILARIOUS.
But Jenny needs some convincing.
And, unfortunately, I don't have any "people" as is evident from the big pile of laundry in my hallway and the leftover pizza that I ate for lunch. But I do have you guys. (Yay!) Will you be my people? I won't even ask you to stick your finger down my throat or anything.
Please persuade Jenny to be in this video.
By taking a moment to add your name (or alias or symbol or whatever - there's no rules here) to this petition. Once I've collected 50 names, Jenny will agree to be in the video! Most likely.
Our humiliation is just one click away. You know what to do.
(click this box to add your name to the list!)