Reese Witherspoon Arrested for Disorderly Conduct

On Friday, Reese Witherspoon and husband, James Toth, were arrested for disorderly conduct and DUI, respectfully, right here in my own backyard. Way to show 'em how we do it in the ATL!

Toth was swerving, so a Georgia State Trooper pulled him over. While he was participating in a field sobriety test, Witherspoon shouted from her silver Ford Fusion, "You're not a real police officer!" Later, she got out of the car and told him she was "an American citizen" and "had the right to stand on American ground."

Way to pull the American card, Reese. That one gets you out of a DUI every time.

But I can't hate. One time, leaving a club in Atlanta, a friend of mine sat on a cop's feet in a parking deck because she didn't want to get her white pants dirty. I bet she didn't think that officer was real, either. You know, it happens.

So, a few things: First, what in the world was Reese Witherspoon doing in a Ford Fusion? I guess movies don't pay as good as they used to. And DUIs are not okay, so I've got an idea: use a couple of bucks from your millions to call a cab or rent a limo.

Second, is it just me, or do you picture her shouting from the car window the same way that she shouted in the bar scene in Sweet Home Alabama? I don't need TMZ when I've got my DVD.

Which brings me to my third point, she's an Oscar winning actress. Couldn't she act sober? Listen, my acting is so bad that Hollywood wouldn't cast me to make a collect phone call, but I could've done better than that, probably.

The upside is that Reese can finally starting shooting her new film: Legally Bombed. 

America's Sweetheart issued a sincere apology today saying, "I was scared for my husband, but that is no excuse. I was disrespectful to an officer who was just trying to do his job."

Awww, Reese! I still love you! Pink fur and Delta Nu forever!

The thing that sucks about being a celebrity is that you're always in the public eye. A celeb does something stupid and the whole world (including a few bloggers, ahem) criticizes them. I do something stupid and, like, three people have an opinion about it. Two, if nobody tells my Mom.

Witherspoon put on a happy face Sunday evening for the New York premier of her new film. And chances are, she didn't have one single drink beforehand.

Dove's Real Beauty Ad Campaign: The B Side

You know how vinyl records had an A-side and a B-side?

The A-side was the song you wanted to buy. The B-side was a song you'd never heard of. For example, if you bought "Go Your Own Way" by Fleetwood Mac, you could flip the record over and hear the B-side track: "I Can't Believe Stevie Cheated On Me With That Sasquatch Lookin' Dude, Mick Fleetwood." (Not an actual song written by Lindsey Buckingham, probably)

However, when we're talking about Dove commercials, the B-side isn't crappy at all. This B-side is freakin' hilarious.

Check out this Dove Real Beauty Campaign parody about how men really see themselves.

Dove's Real Beauty Ad Campaign: You Are More Beautiful Than You Think

Do strangers see us more accurately than we see ourselves?

According to a new beauty campaign by Dove, the answer is yes, and the proof comes in the form of FBI forensic sketches.

On Monday, Dove posted a powerful three-minute YouTube video reminding us that we are more beautiful than we think. The response has been overwhelming.

Seven women of different ages, shapes, sizes, and backgrounds were asked to describe themselves to an FBI sketch artist, Gil Zamora, from behind a curtain; he couldn't see them. They were to give "just the facts" about their physical features, and he created sketches based solely on their descriptions.

What came out of their mouths wasn't just the facts, though; it was a version of the facts that most of us see when we look in the mirror: "I kind of have a fat, rounder face", "my mom told me I had a big jaw", "the older I've gotten, the more freckles I've gotten".

Then strangers, who met the participants in the waiting room, were brought in to describe these same women to the sketch artist. But this time, Zamora got "just the facts", the real facts, the way strangers see us: "she was thin, so you could see her cheekbones", "cute nose", "she had nice eyes; they lit up when she spoke".

The differences in the side-by-side sketches were pretty vast. Check it out.

The response was emotional. My response was emotional. I teared up thinking about how I would describe myself if given the same chance: "fat face", "big lips", "frizzy hair", "wide hips".

Is that all I see? Is that what I'm teaching my daughter?

Each one of us is unique and we all have a true physical beauty that is all our own. We also have an inner beauty that shines through us because of who we are. The world tells us that our beauty doesn't count. We need to remind the world that it does.

"Women are their own worst beauty critics," Dove says. "Only 4% of women around the world consider themselves beautiful... we decided to conduct a compelling social experiment that explores how women view their own beauty in contract to what others see."

Finally! A beauty campaign that actually makes us feel beautiful. Thanks, Dove.

Simply Right is simply right

This post brought to you by Simply Right Infant Formula. All opinions are 100% mine.

Do you know how to catch baby fever faster than anything? Get your baby-makin' organs cut out. It's true. I was completely content with two children until I found out that I had cancer and couldn't have any more kids; then I started goo-goo'ing and gah-gah'ing over babies so much that I almost landed a guest spot on Elmo's World.

And similar to what I did in 8th grade, when my boyfriend dumped me and I spent hours looking at old photos and listening to Debbie Gibson cassettes, I like to take walks down this memory lane, too. I came across the cutest photo of Drew when he was about 3 months old and taking a bottle in my arms. Awww! It seems like yesterday!

I remember being so tired at the time, but looking back on those 3am feedings, they were some of my favorite moments with him. Drew and I would be the only ones awake in the quiet house. Without any distraction, I listened to him cooing while taking his battle and watched his eyes get heavy like he just ate a big Thanksgiving feast. When he would look up at me, it felt as if the rest of the world disappeared.

That's why I was so excited to partner with Simply Right Infant Formula  because they provide Balanced nutrition for your Baby’s Growth and Development, which is pretty doggone important, people. These babies grow up before we know it and early nutrition is vital to their good health.

Stop by the Sam's Club website today and check out Simply Right Formula in the Mom-Friendly Package. If you're like me and had to give plenty of feedings at softball games or choir practices, this formula makes on-the-go feedings quick and easy! Check out this short video here to see what I mean.

And how do you feel about saving money? It's pretty awesome, right? Compare Simply Right to brands like Infamil and Similac. They have the same quality but a much different price. Give your baby the proper nutrition he or she needs without braking the bank. Now that's a win-win.

What are some of your favorite memories of motherhood? How did formula like Simply Right fit into your motherhood duties and make life better?

The Parking Spot

This post brought to you by The Parking Spot. All opinions are 100% mine.

Do you know who has really good luck finding parking spots? My husband. In fact, he gets the first parking spot so often that we started calling it "The Hohenbery". Now if only I could figure out a way to translate his good luck with parking spots into winning lottery numbers... hmmm, I've got to work on that one.

But as for me? I represent the other 99.5% of the population who never gets a good parking spot. My parking spot luck is so bad (How bad is it?) that when I'm on a diet, I count walking from my parking space into the grocery store as "high impact cardio workout".

But I've figured out a way to ALWAYS get "The Hohenbery" at the airport - or, you know, please feel free to use your last name there instead - and that's with THE PARKING SPOT.

When you travel, The Parking Spot shuttle is waiting for you at your car to completely eliminate the stress of airport parking. Hop in and enjoy a lush ride to the airport door. When you return, the shuttle will be ready to take you back to your car, too. Guests are provided with complimentary luggage service, chilled water and a newspaper during the commute. Join the Spot Club and become a VIP - earning free parking rewards
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Now that's the kind of service I could get used to!

Here are just a few of the many great things that I learned about The Parking Spot:

• The shuttles are yellow with black spots. Style counts, y'all.
• Friendly shuttles run every 5-7 minutes.
• Covered, open-air, and valet parking available (select locations)
• Fast and easy check-in and check-out
• Always open
• Well-lit, fully-fenced
• Luggage assistance available
• Complimentary USA Today until 9am, Monday-Friday
• Complimentary chilled water
• Airport parking reservations available
• Car services available in some markets such as oil changes and car washes 

With 34 facilities at over 22 airports nationwide, there's one near you. I checked the website and there are three locations near the Atlanta airport where I live. And that's pretty much the last little nudge that I need to book a trip for Spring Break. I think I'll make my airport parking reservations now. Care to join me? I hear the Caribbean is nice this time of year...

Be sure to like The Parking Spot on Facebook and follow them on Twitter @TheParkingSpot.

If you hate carrying a week's worth of luggage through the airport parking lot while you're running late for your flight as much as I do, contact The Parking Spot today. Start your next vacation off right with relaxation, not parking lot stress.

The Parking Spot insures that we all get "The Hohenbery"/ "The (Your Last Name)" every time we travel, so we can save our good luck for something else... like winning lottery numbers.

Dear Dairy, I love you. I miss you. (Call me)

It's very un-writer of me to cut to the chase like this, and you probably haven't figured this out yet, but I do have a penchant for drama (ahem), but this time, I'm going to make an exception: All my GI biopsies were benign.

BOOM. Can I get a whoop, whoop?!

I go back to my oncologist for more biopsies in May, but I'm kind of enjoying this "benign" roll that I'm on.

I wasn't too worried about the GI biopsies because my gastroenterologist said that everything looked good. And if there's one thing I've learned this year, it's that doctors don't say stuff looks good when it looks bad. Another thing I've learned is that when it looks good, it usually is. And another thing I've learned is that I can talk exactly like Nicki Minaj - it's a cross between New Jersey and British and it's always super annoying - but that's sort of unrelated to what we're talking about here. So, moving on.

My gastroenterologist told me to avoid dairy. He thought I developed a dairy allergy.

Uhmmm, come again? Dairy allergy? There's no freakin' way. See, I've been sprinkling cheese on my food three times a day my entire life. Seriously, if you wrapped a turd in cheese, I would probably eat it. And then ask for seconds.

And you know how I sometimes write, "Can I get you something? Coffee? Tea? Banana split?" Well, just for the record, I don't use "banana split" there because I detest them. I use "banana split" because on most days I'd rather have a banana split than a foot rub and a Grey's Anatomy marathon on Lifetime.

I began to think about how much dairy I ingest on a single day: lattes in the morning, sub sandwiches with cheese for lunch, yogurt for snack (okay, doughnuts, whateves), spaghetti with Parmesan cheese sprinkled on top for dinner, and who doesn't love a bowl of Lucky Charms at midnight?  Exactly, nobody. So my dairy consumption hovers right around 100%.

He could have told me that I developed an allergy to my left arm and it would have been easier to take. That thing's pretty much just decoration anyway.

Truth be told, mainly because I'm stubborn and I wanted to prove him wrong, I cut dairy from my diet this week. I even switched to non-dairy creamer for my coffee. Now that's dedication, people. Bleck.

And fortunately/ unfortunately, I'd like to report that I feel a ton better. Dagnabbit. Is that fool right? Am I going to have to live without dairy? Is it too late to trade in my left arm?

It hasn't been quite as hard as I thought it would be, though. I made some minor adjustments to my meal and snack choices, and all and all, it's been worth it not feel like total garbage all the time.

But last night, I dreamed about cheese. That's right, ladies and gentlemen, I literally dreamed about a wedge of Gouda. I remember the days of old when I used to dream about performing on stage or winning the lottery, but now it's aged cheddar and sliced swiss. So sad.

I'm also going to start a vitamin and mineral regimen to see if that helps. I'm no doctor, but I think it's awfully coincidental that I suddenly became allergic to milk at the same time that I got cancer. Maybe my body was depleted of something that breaks down dairy? Whatever it is, I would like to have it back now, thank you very much.

Of course, then again, what if consuming dairy is like driving a car? You know how you can only drive so many miles before your car is done-for? Maybe I'm not the drive-until-the-wheels-fall-off-Honda that some people are. And since my daily consumption of dairy is equivalent to a cross-country cruise, maybe I ran out of miles faster than most people.

But either way, there is no diary in my diet for now. Or, very little; I am human after all.

Look, I can take all the bad news, the surgeries, the treatments, the tests, BUT FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, haven't I been through enough? Do I have to give up my ice cream and my sour cream and my pizza, too? They're all I have left.

I've always joked that my brain was like a pin-ball machine: one little thought sends that silver ball flying around in a million directions, and before you know it, I've gone from The Emancipation Proclamation to summer capris in seconds. Sometimes not even I can figure out how I got from Point A to Point B.

But these days, I'm pretty much just thinking about one thing: dairy. That little silver ball travels on one path, and the road looks something like this...

But all kidding aside, giving up dairy is a small price to pay to continue to be cancer free. Let the good times roll! Just don't serve any cheese at your celebration party, mmm'kay? I can only take so much. I'm weak, I tell ya. Weak.

Hey, would you mind passing the non-dairy creamer? Lord knows you won't be using it for anything.

Dollar General and Mars: A Winning Combination

This post brought to you by Dollar General. All opinions are 100% mine.

When you hear the word "Mars", what do you think about?

Is it 6th grade Science class and learning about the solar system? I know! I'm so old school that I still think Pluto is a planet, too.

Or, is it the book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus when you finally realized that no matter how coveniently the laundry hamper was placed, a dude's dirty underwear was always going to end up on the floor?

Well, if you're me, when you hear the word "Mars", you automatically think about candy. Of course, the same thing happens to me when I hear the words "desk", "conjunctivitis", and "sundress". (I'm pretty much always thinking about candy.) (Obviously.)

And now, one of my favorite places to shop - Dollar General - is making it even easier for me to think about candy. Yay! I love Dollar General because there is always one near you and you just can't beat the deals. And if I can save money and stock up on essentials like candy? I call that a win-win.

 Be sure to stop by today to pick up some MARS® products at Dollar General. If you buy (3) three 2 liters of a participating brand, you get a MARS® Chocolate FUN SIZE 6-pack® absolutely FREE. So buy something like, say, a 7-Up®, a A&W Root Beer®, and a Sunkist Orange® 2 liter....

  

... and snag yourself one of these fabulous MARS® Chocolate FUN SIZE 6-pack® for free.

• MILKY WAY® Brand FUN SIZE 6-pack®
• MILKY WAY® Brand Simply Caramel FUN SIZE 6-pack®
• 3 MUSKETEERS® Brand FUN SIZE 6-pack®
• SNICKERS® Brand FUN SIZE 6-pack®

  

Does it sound too good to be true? I know, but it's not. For reals y'all, stop by Dollar General today and see for yourself. Great products, great prices and free candy. This is pure awesomeness.

I may not look like Cinderella, but I had a fairytale wedding

Six years ago today, about this time of morning, Brian proposed while we were on vacation in Destin, Florida.

Bailey was so proud when she presented the ring to me. I still remember her tiny, six-year-old hands holding that suede ring box. She was facing me, but her eyes were cut toward Brian, waiting for him to say the words, "Will you marry me?" Then, like she'd been rehearsing her entire life, she looked into my eyes, smiled the sweetest smile, and opened the ring box. What a cutie. We were all so happy!

Then Brian said that he had an entire ceremony planned for us on the beach at sunset - minister, photographer, dresses for me and Bailey, hair and makeup appointments at the Hilton spa, dinner reservations - the whole nine. Whoa, didn't see that one coming.

I don't mean to toot Brian's horn here, ladies, but BEEP FREAKIN' BEEP. My wedding is my favorite fairytale. Disney is thinking about picking it up.

Less than eight hours later, we had the most perfect, beautiful ceremony on the beach. If there was an award for the shortest engagement, Brian and I would be clearing a spot on the mantel now. We didn't waste any time on wedding showers, barbecues and bachelor parties, no sir. We got right down to being a family.

The three of us stood there, barefoot on the beach, and spoke vows straight from the heart. Later, Bailey said that some teenagers stopped to watch us, but I never saw them. It felt like the rest of the world completely disappeared, and for just a few moments, the entire Gulf Coast belonged to us.

The best part about this story is that the love and romance we feel for each other didn't reach its pinnacle during that perfect, beautiful ceremony. Nope, we were just getting started. He is so generous and kind, and takes such good care of me, Bailey, and Drew. Loving him is easy like Sunday morning.

So here's the thing about having a surprise wedding: everybody is surprised. This is a dramatic reenactment of the phone call between me and my Mom that day:

Hey, Mom! Yeah, we're having a great time at the beach.... I called to tell you something - w'ere engaged!

Yes, thank you! We're so excited! And... well, there's more. Brian has a little ceremony planned on the beach today. You know, we'll just get dressed up and take some pictures and stuff.

No, Mom, it's not... well, yeah, I guess it kind of is a wedding.

Awww! Don't cry, Mom! We can have another ceremony when we get back.

At 6 o'clock today. No, I don't think you could drive it in time.

You probably couldn't get a flight in time, either.

Awww! Don't cry, Mom!

Were you able to fill in the blanks on what my mom was saying on the other end? (Sorry, Mom.)

But getting married was so much fun, we decided to do it again! So we had a "re-wedding" at my parents' church a few months later for immediate family and close friends.

Complete with a reception back at our house. It was electric... boogie, woogie, woogie.

Six years ago, when Brian said, "For better or worse, in sickness and in health", he really meant it. During this past year, when I was facing cancer and thought I might lose my mind once or twice, he always found a way to calm me down, encourage my faith, and be my strength when I didn't have any. I think that's what it means to really love somebody - to be everything they need, exactly when they need it. And I'm so thankful that Brian is the person who chose to love me.

When God was handing out husbands, I won the Mega Millions!

This morning, I told our four-year-old son, Drew, that it was our wedding anniversary and showed him some pictures from the wedding. He seemed a little upset that Bailey got to be there and he didn't, so we might have to have a wedding reenactment tonight to celebrate. Maybe the third time is a charm?

Love is a beautiful thing. I can't wait to see where life takes us.

Why I Love Blogging/ Why I Hate Blogging

My good buddy Kirsten over at I Still Hate Pickles invited me to join her Blog Hop today (thanks, girl!). Be sure to stop by her blog and check out her books, too. Oh, and if you're a writer, please join the Blog Hop fun! We saved you a seat, honey.

Kirsten asked us to write about writing... what it means to be a writer, why it's sometimes hard to 'fess up to being a writer, or how writing impacts your life/identity.

This Blog Hop comes at an interesting time for me because I've got all kinds of crazy mixed up feelings about writing right now.

I love writing. I always have. When I think about not writing, I imagine myself blowing up like a puffer fish, and with bathing suit season just around the corner, I can't take that risk. Things are bad enough as it is. Do they even make a round tankini?

Do these spikes make my butt look big?

But, uh, can you keep a secret?.... (I'm kind of over writing right now.)

I know, I know - it's so confusing. It's coming from inside my head and I can't get it to make sense, either.

Probably like most bloggers, I started blogging for a convenient and inexpensive writing outlet. I never expected anybody to read it. So I blogged away, over-sharing silly stories or zany videos. I wrote whenever I had extra time. I didn't worry about whether or not my topics were interesting to the masses. It was laid back, stress free and fun.

But then people started reading it, so I wrote more often. I read articles about how to build my blog audience. I became focused on pageviews, likes, and shares. When I was supposed to be watching a movie with my family, I was mentally constructing my next blog post. If I went out to dinner and something hilarious happened, I could barely enjoy it for thinking about how it would make a perfect story for my blog. My kids couldn't even pick their noses without me taking a pic with my iPhone. This website owned me.

I researched the business side of blogging - conferences, networking, promotions, media kits, and advertising. I spent a lot of free time making pinnable graphics for Pinterest or tweeting Ellen (#iloveher). I focused on Facebook promotions and networking with other bloggers. This website owned me.

Then I lucked my way into a writing a viral post. I watched the pageviews soar to 100,000+ a day. I worried that all these new people would hate my writing style when they read other posts. I was scared to write anything new. My fear of failure crushed my creativity. Blogging wasn't fun anymore. This website owned me.

I became known as "the blogger" in my personal circles, and I don't know if that kept anybody from inviting me to their Thirty-One party, but I worried about it. Other bloggers put out negative articles about me. I'd like to say that it didn't affect me personally, but I don't lie on my blog (that much). After reading them, a huge knot would reside in my gut for days. I wasted precious hours thinking about what I could write in response or how I should handle the backlash. This website owned me.

Then I got sick. When I was diagnosed with cancer, I loved the memories that were documented on this website, but I didn't care about pageviews or likes or radio interviews or negative reviews anymore. I didn't care about writing anymore. All I cared about were the movies that I didn't pay attention to or the hilarious dinner experiences that I didn't enjoy. I worried about the kids who were attached to those tiny, perfect noses. I worried about the husband who never complained once about me spending so much time writing. And suddenly, this website didn't own me anymore.

I don't know if writing screwed up blogging or if blogging screwed up writing but something definitely got jacked up, so I haven't been writing much lately. Although I feel liberated and free these days, I feel a little sad, too. I miss worrying about my next story. I miss connecting with other writers. I feel like I'm being left behind. I want to be creative again.

So, right now, I guess I'm just looking for the balance. I want to be a prolific writer without being owned by my writing. Is that even possible?

Because my struggle with writing has never been with writing. I love writing. I always have. And I always will.

Good Friday

I'm feeling very blessed and humbled today by the sacrifice that Christ made for me 2,000 years before I was even born. If there's anything that I've learned in the past year, it's that my faith and my relationship with Christ are what make everything else make sense.

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. (John 3:16) 

It's Friday... but Sunday's coming.