Wednesday, February 29, 2012

I've Got Merch!

After she googled "werdyab", my friend Nancy said that she thought I was a cyber celebrity because my made-up word was all over the internet.  

Flattery will get you everywhere.  Nancy, can I get you something?  Coffee?  Tea?  Banana split?

So go ahead and Google it.  It's cool.  I'll wait on you.  It's spelled w-e-r-d-y-a-b.  As in, Werd up!  Werd to ya mutha!  Quit putting werds in my mouth.  Sticks and stones may break my bones, but werds will never hurt me.  Werds With Friends.  Microsoft Werd. Diet is a four-letter werd.  A picture is worth a thousand werds.  You mark my werds!  A werd to the wise.  I'll make you eat your werds... which I'm totally cool with, by the way, as long as they taste like donuts.

Notice all my play on werds there?  Nice, huh?

So, are you on Google?  It looks like Werdyab barfed all over your computer screen, doesn't it?  I encourage all of you to make up a word and then pollute the internet with it.  Soon, we'll all be cyber celebrities or we'll create a new psychological disorder.  Either way, WE'RE FAMOUS.

But, uh, as for me, - please notice that all of those Google entries came directly from yours truly.  So I'm kind of leaning toward psychological disorder and away from cyber celebrity.  DANG IT.

Nancy's comment got me thinking, though... What does every respectable celebrity need?  I mean - other a personal trainer, a dog that fits in a purse and "people" to do her bidding.  Celebs need MERCH.  

That's "merchandise" for all of you who don't suffer from the psychological disorder soon to be named Werdyab.

So while Brian was watching basketball and a TiVo'd PTI, I designed some merch!  Brian looked over at my computer screen and said, "So... who is going to buy those shirts that doesn't live in this house?"

Haters gonna hate, y'all.

The answer is obvious - NOBODY.  But who cares?!  I've got MERCH and that's all that matters.  Now I'm just a personal trainer, a small pooch and some "people" away from stardom.  So close, yet so far away.

So check out WERDYAB MERCH.  It's just like Versace or Dolce & Gabbana except that nobody cares.

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