#21 Don't plagiarize, a.k.a., The day somebody said I caught cancer for marketing purposes

In case I haven't beaten this dead horse enough, I wrote a list of 20 Things a Mother Should Tell Her Son, and it's been shared a few times... blah, blah, blah. Are you as sick of hearing about it as I am talking about it? (Rhetorical.)

When it's shared, I know it's impossible or improbable to give me credit, so when that doesn't happen - which is basically every time - I don't sweat it.

I'm no different. I just shared an e-card on Facebook about muffin tops and I have no idea who created it. I didn't Google it or anything. I just hit "share" and went on about my business. Totally fine. Nobody faults us for that.

But recently, something a little different happened.

A Facebook friend posted a link to "20 Things a Father Should Tell His Son" and tagged me in it. I expected to see an original list, but instead, I saw a copy-and-paste version of my list, word-for-word. The only difference was "mother" was changed to "father", for obvious reasons, of course.

His photo also duplicated the original: a father holding his infant son with "20 things a father should tell his son" written in the corner. I found the image on another website, so I'm assuming it's probably copyright protected.    

That was blatant plagiarizing - promoted to his 85,000+ Facebook fans - so I felt like an email needed to be sent. I never received a response to my email, and I was blocked from his Facebook page.

A couple of days later, he dedicated a full blog post to how offended he was that I contacted him. (Usually I have to fall down a flight of stairs at a PTA meeting to warrant that much dialogue. This was much safer.)

He openly admitted to plagiarizing and for being a serial copy-and-paster, saying,  "I have never claimed any of the posts to (be) mine."

So good news, y'all. Admitting something means you're not responsible anymore. I totally robbed that bank, but since I said it, I don't have to go to jail, right? Yay!  

He goes on to write, "one viral post doesn't make you a god". Then he calls me a hypocrite and a bully. He also calls me "uneducated" just before writing "bully's" as the plural form of the word "bully". Ahem.

So I'm confused here. It's morally okay to steal other people's stuff, but it's not okay to ask somebody to stop it? Oops, my bad. Thanks for clearing that up for me.

He ends his post with this paragraph:

"User beware. Many people are not what they seem. We all have to be wary of those whom share stories related to health issues to gain your sympathy and then end up selling merchandise. It's called marketing and it seems to work well, but I find it morally incomprehensible when people would use a cancer story in an effort to increase their level of wealth." 

That paragraph is sort of the only reason why I'm giving this guy 5 minutes of my time.

First off, sharing my cancer story hasn't increased my wealth. When you consider my out-of-pocket medical expenses and my time out of work, it's actually decreased my wealth quite a bit. But what it has done, however, is spread awareness and possibly even saved lives. Bless his heart that he didn't see the difference.

And second, this guy has obviously never looked at his children and wondered if he would watch them grow up, get married, or have children of their own. I've done that, and let me tell you, it's harder than you'd think.

If he had, he would never accuse somebody of 'catching cancer for marketing purposes'. What an ignorant oaf.

As for me? I find it morally incomprehensible that somebody would flippantly write "a cancer story" as if we were talking about Cinderella or Horton Hears a Who. If you've ever had cancer or loved someone who has, you know that "a cancer story" is more than The Pokey Little Puppy. It's sort of bigger than that.

I didn't contact him after I read his blog post, because seriously, some people can't be helped. He has deleted it now, so I guess he had a moment of clarity or something.

The Internet usually brings me such joy. I like writing articles for this website and making silly songs or videos. I love seeing other people's online creations. I even enjoy the TMI on Facebook. Yep, I love it all.

Except for this. I probably could've lived without this.

Get romantic (sort of) with a #bloggersdanceparty

It's that time again, folks.  Time for the Bloggers Dance Party, Valentine's Edition.

This is when people who love to embarrass themselves on the internet embarrass themselves even more on the internet.  It's pure awesomeness.  Bloggers link up dance videos over at Kerry's crib, HouseTalkN.

The first time, I made an Evolution of Dance video and injured myself while trying to channel my inner J. Lo..  I also learned that dance videos are really bad for a marriage.  WRITE THAT ONE DOWN.

The next time, I made a Dance Walking  video and got myself kicked out of two public restaurants and became known as "the crazy girl who dances" in my hometown.  Yay! Now I can finally mark that one off the bucket list.

And sometimes I dance in public without being challenged at all, but that only happens on days that end in y.

But this time, I decided to make an Ellen's Dance Dare at Disney World.  Have you seen these?  Ellen DeGeneres challenges viewers to dance inappropriately behind unsuspecting strangers and capture it on film. They are hilarious!

When we were at Disney World, I dared dared every single character that we met.  All of them.  When Winnie the Pooh saw me grinding behind Tigger, I think he poohed his pants a little.

Check out my Ellen's Dance Dare at Disney World....





I hope you liked it because, needless to say, my kids weren't that impressed.  Bless their hearts.

I feel like a "Valentine's Edition" should be more about love and less about butt bumpin', but that's pretty much as romantic as it got.  Sorry.

Be sure to stop by HouseTalkN and watch all the hilariously awesome dance videos!

I made Headline News!

But don't worry, it's not for what you think.  I wasn't standing in front of the Piggly Wiggly, in curlers, barefoot, and talking about the "tor-nader that done blowed through".  You know, this time.

HLN's show Raising America featured my post "20 Things a Mother Should Tell Her Son".  I was so proud, honored and excited that they wanted to share it.  In other words, "Eeeeeeek!"

When I looking at it on hlntv.com, I was completely calm, honest to goodness.  But my phone?  Well, it got so excited that the battery life was sucked right out of it. You can see it there on my pic.  Gah, phones are so emotional these days, don't you think?

Thank you, HLN, for sharing my post!  (And for keeping that tornado interview just between us.)

My Radio Interview with The Bert Show of Q100 FM

This morning I woke up, made some coffee, got the kids ready for school, did a radio interview with Q100....  You know, just a typical Wednesday.

Holy cow, y'all!  So not a typical Wednesday.

The Bert Show planned to discuss my list of 20 Things a Mother Should Tell Her Son, but I had no idea they were going to talk to until my phone rang exactly 3 minutes before I was on the air.  The good news is that I had no time to get nervous.  The bad news is that I had no time for the coffee to kick in.

Hey, did you miss the interview?  No problem!  Brian recorded it on a very sophisticated piece of equipment (you might call it an iPhone 4), so you can listen to it here.  Yay!







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Mamapedia Voices: Back to School

Read me on Mamapedia today!   We're chatting about our kids' back-to-school experiences, so pull up a chair, grab a cup of coffee, and join the conversation, honey!  We'd love to hear from you!

My kids' reactions to the first day of school were a mixed bag.

My 6th grader, Bailey, was excited about changing classes and becoming an elementary school "Senior" this year.  She was happy to see her friends and exchange stories about summer vacation.      

I said,
"It sounds like you had a good first day!"

"Well, it was going great until Tyler told everybody that he named his new puppy Bailey after me.  Pfft."

"How did that make you feel?"

"I was EMBARRASSED.  Now everybody thinks I have a dog's name!"

Ahhhh.  6th grade innocence - when you're more worried about having a dog's name than having a boy thinking you're cute.  GOOD.  LET'S KEEP IT THAT WAY.

As you read in the Mamapedia article, my son Drew started Pre-K a year early.  He was accustomed to a life of daycare leisure -  playing with toys, running around the classroom, and taking 2-hour naps.  

But he quickly learned that Pre-K was no joke: circle time, sit in your seat, no talking, single-file line, 45-minute naps.  And now, those are all cuss words to Drew.  

Needless to say, it was a bit of an adjustment.  When I asked Drew about his first day, he said, "I hate Pre-K!"  And that's pretty much all he had to said about that.

Remember how Drew wanted Waffle House for breakfast on the first day of school?  That's exactly what he wanted for dinner, too.

And after the day he had, if my baby wanted waffles, my baby was gettin' waffles.  

I took a couple of photos of him, but this was the happiest face that I could get.  Bless him.   

But now, I'm very happy to report that Drew has adjusted well.  He doesn't hate Pre-K anymore; he just moderately dislikes it.  I'm hoping that by September, we'll move into the "slightly annoyed" category.

And Bailey is doing great, too.  She loves her classes, teachers and school activities.  She is playing softball for the middle school team, so she's gotten a chance to meet some girls who can show her ropes next year when she starts middle school.

How was your child's first day?  Were they nervous?  Did they like their teacher?  Did they make any new friends?  Did they start a new school?

And how were you?  As for me, I was an emotional hot mess.    

I've closed the comment section on my blog for now, but we're still hanging out on Facebook and Twitter. Stop by anytime!  And please visit Mamapedia today to join the back-to-school conversation.  We'd love to hear what kind of hot mess you were on the first day of school, too.  No?  Just me?  Oh. 

   

I'm negative about negativity

Bloggers are artists. You might not think of us that way because there's no blog posts hanging in the Louvre or the Met, but it's art just the same. We are like painters - our oils are honesty, humor, and emotion; our canvas is the World Wide Web.

And just like all artists, we want you to like us. I mean, we really want you to like us. But if you don't, that's okay, too.

I can't stand Lady Gaga music, I hated all the Harry Potter books, and I wouldn't cast Kristen Stewart to make a collect phone call, but some of you might disagree with me. Well, except for that Kristen Stewart thing. I mean, seriously.

The point is that we're all entitled to our opinion.

I wrote a post called 20 Things A Mother Should Tell Her Son in about 15-minutes on a Sunday afternoon while cooking dinner. If I had known that millions of people were going to read it, I probably would have spent more time of it. I would have devoted a solid twenty.

It's like that dream where you accidentally go to school naked, except my school was the Internet and my class was the population of New York. Suddenly I was all like, 'Does this blog make me look fat? Is my HTML on straight?' I swear, it was just like middle school all over again.

Since then, I've read hundreds of negative comments, several articles personally attacking my parenting, and one message board full of people convinced that I'm single-handedly ruining the next generation of men. (You're welcome, by the way.) And unfortunately, on most days, the hundreds of criticisms outweigh the millions of shares. I'm no mathematician, but that doesn't make any sense.

I don't mind you disagreeing with me. In fact, it's quite the opposite. I love it because that means I made you think. You read my list and thought to yourself, "Pfft. Really? She's so stupid. If this was my list, I would tell my son...."

And that's just awesome. If my stupidity inspires you, then I'll be happy to be this moronic again tomorrow.

Disagreeing is fine, but please do not attack me personally. Counterpoint my thoughts. Share your opinions. Just don't cut me with your switchblade, m'kay?

"You are stupid and selfish."
"I don't know what dinosaur wrote this, but move out of the south!"
"When you teach a false doctrine, you are not helping you're children, but you are destroying their lives before they get a chance to live."
"You are raising a mangina. Your son doesn't have a chance."
"And look at the advice she gave her daughter?  Let's just say that I feel sorry for her husband having to live with somebody like that."
"What closed minded dumbass wrote this?"
"My first thought was that you hated all men and you were divorced (not remarried) and bitter, but I read one post implying that you loved your husband."
"It could be read as gender discrimination either way - either you are over-protective about your daughter or that you just don't care about boys."
"I will pray the Lord takes away all the hate in your heart."
"Whoever wrote this is an idiot."
"It's not easier having sons. You have to teach them values and morals too."
"Are you really this stupid?"
"This is seriously the most paranoid thing that I've read on here."
"You are raising the type of son that you are trying to protect your daughter against."

And that doesn't include all the people who just said they hated it or they weren't impressed.  Ahem.

I would say it didn't bother me, but I don't lie on my blog (that much).

Other bloggers have also shared their opinions about cyber-bullying.

Michele, of the hilarious blog ODNT, wrote about her feelings when she received hate mail, which eventually turned into a public Twitter breakup. And every blogger knows, a Twitter breakup is the worst kind.

Leslie, of the award-winning blog The Bearded Iris, took down her comment section for the summer after a photograph was criticized inappropriately. I saw the photograph and I thought it was pure awesomeness.

It's good to know I'm not alone.

When I read the personal attacks posted about me, I felt like Robin Williams talking to Matt Damon on the park bench in the movie Good Will Hunting: "But you presume to know everything about me because you saw a painting of mine and you ripped my fucking life apart?"

I'm an artist and I painted something - something original that I created - but you took one look at my painting and you called me an idiot, a horrible wife, and a bad mom. And that's not nice, y'all! Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

You cannot possibly understand the depths of me as a woman, wife, mother, or writer simply from reading one post. I've been hanging out with me my entire life, and I haven't gotten me figured out yet.

Online bullying has become just like road rage. It's too easy for us to login and release our personal frustration on strangers without any accountability or repercussion. In short, we need to stop giving people the cyber-finger while we're stuck in traffic on the information highway.

Years ago, I watched an interview on VH-1 with Rosie O'Donnell about Madonna. She said that she and Madge were on an elevator in New York shortly after Madonna dyed her hair black. A stranger got on the elevator, said, "You're Madonna, right? Your hair looks like shit like that", and then he got off at the next floor as if he hadn't said a word. Rosie said that Madonna was genuinely upset about it, and even teared up over the insult.

It stuck with me because I think somebody like Madonna is invincible. But wait, Madonna cared about what some stranger said to her? The same woman who can do 42 hours of yoga per day, she cried? Imagine how somebody like me must feel. I haven't seen the inside of a yoga studio since, well, ever.

I'm not what you'd call a "thick-skinned" person. In fact, my skin is so thin that you can determine my blood type simply by looking at my forearm, but I'm learning. I'm learning how to take those hurtful words and put them in a box. I deal with them when it's appropriate, and when it's not, I shut the lid and walk away.

Last night, I went home and kissed my husband and hugged my children. We laughed and talked and played ball together in the yard. I tucked my babies into bed and snuggled up with my husband before drifting off to a peaceful sleep, and I didn't allow those negative comments to define me as a person.

So you didn't ruin my day. You were just a part of it.

Read me on Mamapedia

There's a cute guy who sits beside you in College Algebra, which on most days, is the only reason that you even bother going to class.

The professor is standing at the front of the room talking about how something will yield such-and-such, but all you hear is "Bueller.... Bueller....".

Although solving for X to determine how many watermelons should be taken to the festival is super interesting, you're thinking about the cute guy's dimples instead.  And how his hair curls at his ears.  And how he doesn't know you're alive.

But then on Friday, the cute boy walks up to you and says, "Hi, I'm Jim. Do you want to grab a cup of coffee after class?"

Uhmmmm, YES.

But you've got to play it cool, right?  So you say, "That should be okay.  I mean... well, sure. Why not?"

But on the inside?  You're doing cartwheels and whatever hot mess Ke$ha calls dancing.

That's exactly what happened to me when Mamapedia asked me if they could publish my article.

On the outside, I was all like, "Sure, that would be okay."  But on the inside, I was KeSha in the Tick Tock video.  Hot mess central.

Be sure to stop by Mamapedia to read A Funny Letter To My Kids.  

So far, 99% of the comments say that I'm an idiot or a bad mother.  It looks like it's going to be a banner day. :)